la-de-da

I'm aliveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2009-12-14T19:03:00.001-05:00

alive i tell you!
really.. I just spent 3 minutes (oh the horror.. haha a whole 3 minutes) trying to figure out my password, so I may as well post something :p
but I have nothing to say
so..
i bid you ado
again
-la.. the loony bird.

why do I even have a blog..

2009-07-31T20:49:00.003-04:00

pffsht.. lol I never post anyway. Things have just been the same.. crazy. Trying to find the balance- still. Failing miserably at it- still. You know, the usual. I'm really really hoping I have some good news to post about soon. I promise a big long drawn out typical La babble post when I get the word.. Right now things are still just up in the air. I'm feeling a little disappointed, but I'm trying to learn not to spazz and blow crap up till I know for certain. But that's hard to do. I never ever get my hopes up about anything, and I totally let myself do so.. so it's been a bit hard to just sit back and wait and let things take their course. I have no control over the situation, so it's a waste of time (so I'm told haha) to worry about it all.
Connor is starting school in a few weeks -finally hahaha. It's going to be SO great for him, and for me. I could totally use the break in the routine etc. I keep telling people how funny it is, a year ago.. I was totally not ready. He has a late bday so he obviously gets bumped to this year. Now, now I can't WAIT for him to start. He's going to have so much fun, and be around kids. Excellent really. I am sure he's bored here at home hanging out with me all day. I'm not exactly you know.. super awesome in the kid entertainment department. :p
I'm getting distracted writing this.. I just installed tweetdeck yesterday- and it keeps chirping at me. so of course I have to go see what is going on. Yes.. La.. focus. You can't even focus on a silly blog post! sheesh haha. Speaking of focus, I've been designing like mad lately, trying to at least keep that going. Designing is SUCH a great outlet for me.. and my last few products have been a lot more........ me friendly. I don't even know how else to say that LOL.. I've just been putting a lot more into it instead of just the cute doodlie stuff.. It's good for me and I am so so lucky to get to work in this field and support my lil family doing something I enjoy so so much. Of course, that doesn't stop me from getting all super frustrated and yelling at crap sometimes LOL but.. hey, it's all good. I'm not posting kit previews here, cause that's what the team bloggie is for.. but since I haven't updated in a monnnnnth+ here are a couple of my most recent fav layouts (ok.. I think I made all of these within the past week, but whateverz.. this post would be a mile long if I posted all of them)

credits: **new 8/1** (that's tomorrow folks! eee)
Clarity by Lauren Reid (she's awesome, everyone should love her.. k? :] )

credits: **new 8/1** One step closer by.. yours truley :]

credits: My Way by Lauren Reid & Lauren Grier (meee lol)

credits: At the bus stop .. by me :]

Anyway.. that's it for now. Like I said, hopefully I have something super awesome to post about sooooon. We'll see :]
*muah*
La

pet help!

2009-06-15T17:34:00.002-04:00

so ce wants *another* pet.. yes yes.. we just got yoda what.. a month ago? Well really what ce wants is a dog- but he knows we can't have one right now. I promised him a while ago that when we had a house & a yard I'd get him a dog.......... this may never happen ^_^ but, that was the deal.
So anyway.. we had to go to the pet store to get fresh carpeting for yodas tank.. and as usual ce oogled at all the animals. I am not opposed to getting another pet but.. merh.. I dunno. I mean we have the cat- which makes things slightly difficult. While he's fat and lazy and never bothered the fish, and hasn't given a diddly about yoda.. I'm still a bit weary. He could suddenly one day decide he's a ninja cat I dunno LOL.
Then of course... I don't want a pet that is going to die in a year. I'm not into those replaceable animals.. I mean, they're cute and all but........ are there any little fuzzy things that last more than 1-3 years (I'm talking the mice, gerbils, hamsters etc.. I've never had one as a pet so I haven't a clue). I'm pretty sure they all have pretty pathetic life spans. Not my cup of tea.
He also expressed interest in birds................. >< I dunno if I can do birds. We had birds growing up.. and my mom has about 62346 now (really.. I have no idea how many.. but there are like 4 cages with multiple birds in each, plus a parrot.). I dunno if I want to hear chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp all day.. I already have to listen to the crickets for yoda and birds are louder haha... So...... maybe not. Plus.. bird + Cat..... no bueno.
I have a feeling we're goign to end up with another herp... of some sort.. snake frog.. another lizard.. but I dunno. The little hamsters were so cute, I just wish they lived longer.
Oh and I hate ferrets. a lot. so no one even think about suggesting those things lmao.
Am I forgetting anything?? I also don't want a 2nd cat. no.
so..
yeh..
this is really babbly sorry haha
If you read through all of this.. and understood any of it.. thank you. Tell me about yer pets.. and give me some suggestions here peeps.. I'm relying on you haha.

what's going on in la's world?

2009-05-10T13:21:00.003-04:00

lol this seriously just cracked me up.. I was going to write about shawna, and found this best friend icon-- and it's amusing, cause shawna thinks I'm a giant.. cause you know, she's a teeny tiny person LOL. Anyway..... Of course, we all received the greatest news this week... miss shawna is 100% cancer free!! Awesomeness.. relief.. joy.. everything all rolled into one. Best news of the century. When she's all recovered, I'm sooo flying her out here so we can celebrate :] I miss her.. it's been way too long since I've seen her last!

I also got onto miss Lauren Reid's CT - eeee also fabulous. I've really been wanting to scrap more lately, so this was the perfect opportunity. I've already made a few pages with her goodies (which are fantastic of course).
click for credits

There's another page but I can't show you yet :p Next blog post lol.. but I adore her stuffz.. it's so fun to be on her CT. It's been a while since I've been on one. Good for the mojo and what not.

Today is also mothers day of course.. just chillin with the kidlet- well, he's chillin, I'm in here messing with things lol, but it's all good. This is officially my 2nd mothers day as a "single mom", it's a little weird tbh, but totally worth it. I do however kinda hate that term.. "single mom", it makes me feel diseased. Like you don't call other moms "married moms" or.. "attached moms", LOL you know, it's just odd. but it is what it is. We're rockin it ;)

Hm.. what else. I'm doing a bit better today than I was the past couple of days. That whole angry roar I'm running away from the world La just isn't going to be allowed to dominate. You have to grab hold of your happiness, and fight for it. That's what it boils down to. I'm still working on convincing myself of that.. LOL.. but we'll get there. I'm not going to let people hold me down.. no way, no how. Bugger off. :]

I love my best friend..

2009-05-06T09:01:00.005-04:00

So anyone reading my blog, undoubtedly knows what's going on with my bff Shawna (if for some reason you don't... check out her bloggie.. she'll explain everything there way better than I'm about to). Recently shawna's dr discovered that her thyroid was enlarged. After lots of testing, u/s's and a biopsy etc, they concluded that it was probably thyroid cancer. Today, just now actually.. Shawna is leaving for the hospital to have a thyroidectomy (thank you google for helping with my terrible spelling skillz).. where they will be removing at least half of her thyroid- from what shawna tells me, they are taking out half.. and then poking at the mass (very technical here), and will determine at that point while they're still in there if they have to remove the whole thing.
So.. she's obviously nervous, anxious, whatever you want to call it..she barely slept last night... and while she should be the complete focus right now as she was leaving she said "don't stress too much today k?" Either she's a crack pot (lol I'm kidding love), or she is just the kindest soul around. Through all of this, she has continously been putting everyone else first. Worrying how other people are dealing with it, worried that it's too much for people to process.. she's pretty amazing- that even during a time when she's completely allowed to freak out, she pauses.. and makes sure everyone else is ok. Even the day she found out & told me, she was more worried about how I was reacting. Now of course, I did tweak out.. but I know now that even though the C word is the devil, this may really be a good thing in the end. Shawna's thyroid seems to actually be more evil than cancer in the grande scheme of things, and taking it out may just set everything back to normal for her. That is the end goal, that is what she needs. So you focus on that instead.
So... today I'll be hanging out with my phone, waiting for word on how the surgery went and what not. I know she'll be fine though :] She's a strong little cookie deep inside there... :]

ps yes that is totally a pb&j sandwich :p I love you shawna <3 *muah*

don't be so quick to judge

2009-05-05T09:14:00.002-04:00

that's the lesson I learned yesterday. surprisingly, to me anyway, I really enjoyed this whole tennis bit. now, I suck.. it was after all the first time I've ever attempted to play.. but really I had a ton of fun. Hopefully after a few more rounds of practicing I will stop zinging the ball out of the court or over the fence ^_^ ... my brother insists I didn't do thaaaaaat poorly, but..... I def wasn't a rock star or anything. I much prefer this to the whole running bit though. Especially since ce "played" with us.. we bought him his own racket which he used a few times, but mostly he was just running around the court retrieving all the balls I sent askew (which is nice btw.. having someone else chasing them for you lol). Good thing we brought 6 balls with us :p I hope we can go again today.. it's supposed to rain most of the day, but as long as it sticks to an inconsistent drizzle I don't care. A little rain never did hurt anyone.. it's that lightening shizz you have to watch out for :p Of course, tomorrow my brother is going on a 10 day trip with my dad.. so I dunno, maybe I'll practice whacking a tennis ball at a fence while he's gone or something. He's all gung-ho about us doing stuff to get in shape (be it the running or this) but he tends to disappear for weeks on end :p lol.. it makes things a tad complicated. His girlfriend lives in maine so it's usually because of trek's up there.. and then he doesn't feel like coming home lol. Aaah the young love it is. They're quite gay and .. barf inducing. She called him like.. 4? times while we were out yesterday haha.. I couldn't stop laughing. He just got back from there a few days ago.. this time though he's going to FL and then TX with my dad.. visiting peeps or something, I have no idea. I don't really pay that much attention :p

you want me to do what?

2009-05-04T09:07:00.002-04:00

So it seems, my brothers mission in life currently, is to find some activity that we can do together on a regular basis. At first, it was the running.. but btwn issues with connor, my knees, and my brother's asthma.. the running has been stop and go for weeks now. Now.. now he wants me to take up tennis. Tennis?? I've never played tennis! Nor had he, till a few weeks ago.. but he has decided, this is what our next adventure shall be. So today we're going shopping to find me a racket.. I have no idea why we are doing this. I've never had the slightest interest in playing tennis :p I don't even know how to play.. Other than you know, whack the ball. It will be interesting to say the least. It is great, that he wants to do these things.. on a brother sister level, and on a La still has weight to lose level- but, I dunno.. Tennis?!?! lol. That's all I keep saying. Out of all the ideas he could have come up with (say.. I dunno.. bike riding instead of running? ) He picked this. Hopefully it goes well, we shall see I guess. I'm fully expecting to hurt myself after 1 try though, this is typically how things go with me. I've got a banged up body :p

In other news.... equally exciting of course, I bought new curtains. They are hot. I'm kinda excited.. All the years living with my ex, I never got to decorate anything. I have all sorts of mixmatched (mostly hand me down) furniture.. nothing coordinates.. everything is blah. So, over the next few months I'm going to set aside time to play with some fabric and paint ^_^ I can't paint the walls.. but I am going to paint all my furniture for sure :p It will be good for me.. and fun, and all that jazz. I just want this place to feel like it's MINE finally. Then.. after I'm done all that, we'll probably move haha.. but that's ok. Well we NEED to move, I'm just blah on that front atm. So yes............. this was a very boring blog post. I've apparently lost my ability to ramble on end. They're getting shorter and shorter.

I scrapped a ton on nsd..

2009-05-03T11:31:00.004-04:00

lol, apparently nsd was really good for me. I even shopped *gasp*, not a ton, but seeing I barely ever shoppe it was quite the accomplishment :p

I bought a s uper cute kit from miss Kitty Chen & her magical swirls 2 -- they're awesome btw.. so pretty. I actually scrapped more than I intended to because shawna made me ^_^ .. but it was worth it.

first, I must show you all the emu I pimped for robin's little challenge.... usually she does llamas, which you all know I detest, so I was happy to play with an emu instead :p

This is what I, la, would look like as an emu. I even made it's eyes look like mine :p

and my layouts from yesterday :] weee

for the nsd spin a lift chain :]

I lifted melissa's http://www.sweetshoppecommunity.com/gallery/showphoto.php?photo=84076 layout here

credits: scrapkitchen - the village market
layered up in you scallops, edges & arrows by me
hearts by me..
michelle coleman stamped alpha

for speed scrap #1
template by meghan

credits:
dani mogstad all you need is love

credits:
kitty chen wishes & dreams and magical swirls 2
font: DJB see lyle run

arrow- layered up in you arrows by me.. heart, recoloured from my what I want kit.

and that is all folks :p

Blah Blah Blah

2009-04-28T09:46:00.004-04:00

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

yes.
blah.
again?
Blah.

This morning, I start the day off moody.. You see, I'm super ridiculously anal about scheduling my day, week, life, whatever. I over plan.. I over analyze, I just like to know when shizz is going to happen and what I need to do to prepare for it k? Except for the rare occasion where my super planning fails me, I'm always early, I'm always ready for anything.. it's how things work around here k? Except.. I have these two people in my life, who are apparently the total opposite of me in this manner. And.. it.tweaks.me.out. I can't deal with it. At all. If you say "I'll let you know on monday the latest what the plan is" ... I don't expect to wake up on tuesday morning still not knowing if you are coming at all today. The best part is.. because of YOU being incapable of communicating or planning like a human being.. it spills over to person #2- who is also a last minute planner (really last minute.. like.. 10 minutes beforehand, oh yes.. plans are a go.... >< ) you see.. because I don't know if #1 is following through.. I can't even begin to figure out what's going on with #2.. and so.. I will just hide under my desk and pretend the world doesn't exist until SOMEONE FREAKIN TELLS ME WHAT IS GOING ON.
garh.
ok I feel better lmao.

So what else.. oh it's disgustingly hot again. Once again, it's going to hit the 90s and it's only april... If I lived in the south, whatever.. but I freakin live in RI.. this is not supposed to happen, and I am not at all pleased. I loath the summer.. LOATH it, and it's already here in freakin april? please shoot me. I'm afraid to think of how hot it's going to get when it's actually summer time. Pfft. I may just melt into a pool of disgusting mush. When we were at the museum yesterday with Pam & Emily.. we saw what 5lbs of fat looks like.. I'd imagine that's what I would turn into, if I melted.. just a giant blob of disgusting fat. Mmmmm yum.

This is a really cranky post. lol

national I'm a jealous monkey day..

2009-04-20T08:38:00.003-04:00

ok, this isn't a real one... ^_^ but I AM a jealous monkey. my friend is currently in a plane.. on their way to cali-forn-i-a... picture me totally green with envy. I loove to travel, and haven't been able to for like a year and a half now due to life stuff.. It's making me a bit loony LOL. I hate being stuck in one place .. I want to go go go. Everywhere. I haven't been to Cali since I was 19, I love it there.. I love the entire west coast. Plus, it's going to be gorgeous in cali (when isn't it) and I'm stuck here in gloomy grey weather all week. hmpfh. lol
Ce and I will have to plan a trip this summer or something.. I know we're prolly going to upstate NY for a weekend or something, but I dunno if that will help with my insatiable need to travel. Plus I have to drive there.. and while I do love driving.. 7 hrs with a 5 yr old in a car isn't really fun fun. Last time we went up there, the drive up was fine.. I was smart, and drove over night so he just snoozed (though I had to drive the majority of it in a scary thunderstorm).. the way back though, was horrid. We stopped at every.single.rest.stop. Every 30 miles.. mooooooom I have to go to the bathroom. >< ok. fine. lol At least on a plane, if he gets the urge to pee we don't have to stop the travelling to do so. He's a great little flyer though.. It's so much fun with him. The first time he flew, he was just under 2 so he was on my lap- that was unpleasant. One of the flights was overnight and the $#^@##%# in front of me had their seat back allllll the freakin way. Nothing like being pinned with a 2 yr old on your lap for hours. I could barely breathe. I'm kinda glad he requires his own seat now :p at least *I* can be slightly more comfortable lol. So who wants me to come visit? Some where fun.. and you know, you need to be near an ocean somehow. LOL I can't handle central US.. I need costal areas.

Happy National Garlic Day!

2009-04-19T09:55:00.003-04:00

(I found this darling lil garlic dude on etsy)

really though.. this is how I am feeling about "garlic day" Bet you thought I was making things up.. No.. no April 19th IS national garlic day.. and someone in my apartment building seems to be really living up the celebration. I live on the 3rd floor.. there are only 6 apartments in my building, so I get my fair share of "smells" lofting up from the neighbors. But, never THIS overpowering. I love garlic as much as the next person sure.. but holy cow. I think she may have soaked her apartment from floor to ceiling in garlic juices or something. It is SO overpowering.. I can barely breathe it in anymore.. even my eyes are watering. So please.. be kind to your neighbors, if you must partake in this holiday.. please do not attempt death by garlic.. enjoy your garlic if you must.. but right now, I'm thinking if I have to smell garlic again anytime soon... I may hurl.

randomness in ze brain

2009-04-18T19:21:00.004-04:00

So, I was standing in the kitchen making dinner.. listening to ce having yet another blow up in his room. He had just gotten in trouble for drawing all over my floors. He starts going through the usual routine, I promise to be a good boy, I promise to be a big boy, I promise to not do naughty things anymore, I promise to keep my mommy happy.. on and on. And I started thinking.. about all the other false promises I've received in my life. It seems there have been a lot of them.. why do people promise so many things they can't fulfill? I'm pretty sure that you're born that way.. with this uncontrollable urge to please, so you just spit out any promise you think will satisfy the other person (case and point, my 5 yr old promising things that he will break within the hour). There are the small ones.. like those above.. to the whopper ones from adults- you know, the I promise to love you forever, I promise there's no one else, I promise to love honour and respect you till death do us part.. and my favorite .. I don't believe in divorce, I promise to never leave you. I know I'm guilty of them sometimes too.. this isn't a I hate men post (though I'm feeling particularly cynical at this moment in time).. Why do we do this? and furthermore.. why do we accept promises that we know there's no way that the other person can be sure to keep? I know.. sometimes.. those till death do us part things do work out, and I'm not upset that that was one of those promises in my life that I was let down on- I came to terms with the path my life took long ago now- but I believed it then... and I am tired of believing and being let down. I think I need to make it a point from here on out to request no one promise me anything anymore :p lest I truly become that cranky bitter cat woman in the future. I have so little hope and faith in people it's disgusting to me. I want to believe people when they say.... they promise they'd never hurt me, and that they'd be the first person to kick their own a** if they were ever a certain way to me.. but I don't really anymore. I am always expecting the people in my life to turn out like everyone else I've dealt with in the past- which is unfair to them of course. I go round and round (as my close friends can attest to, it's tiring) I'll be high on a cloud, and then the next day I've crashed back down assuming everyone is evil. That's no way to live.. NOT everyone is evil. My kid certainly isn't evil for promising he won't be a bad boy.. and neither are the other people in my life who promise to stick around through it all. I don't know.. That was the extent of my thoughts.
/cranky la rantings.

posting twice in a month..

2009-03-29T12:52:00.003-04:00

I think that marks an improvement. sorta. I'm officially 27, well I have been for a few days. It's not really that exciting. I'd been dreading this birthday, just like I dreaded the last one, and will dread the next one. So what, I don't like getting older- I'm sorry if that offends you (lol.. can you tell I'm tired of being teased about this?). You see, last year, my husband had just left a few weeks prior.. this year, well I'm heading into the divorce, a single mom to a 5 yr old.. and 2freakin7.. and next year, well next year I will be 28- and I dunno. Things are just weird and I don't deal well with things I can't control ok????? ^_^ I'm totally giggling writing this. I know it's not a big deal- it's just.. well, it's not the way I thought things would turn out, but life never is really right? Most of the people I went to HS with are either a) already settled down in their lives, with their white picket fences, and 2.5 kids.. or b) they're recently engaged/married and life is all puppy dogs and rainbows for them. BTDT, well not the puppy dogs and rainbows part.. I've just been "off" with my old friends for years now.. Now that I'm here, out there in the world again (granted, I still have the kid part) they're finally catching up to where I was 5-6 years ago and we still don't have much of anythign in common. It's weird ok! I know, I need new friends ... lol. By the time my friends have kids connor will be like.. 15- watch. you'll see. then they'll be asking my kid to babysit their kids so they can go out. Where were they when I wanted to go out? oh yeh... I forgot, they were too busy being young... haha. I wouldn't trade connor for the world, it's just funny how life works out sometimes. I have been able to get out a little more lately, which is nice. Usually like once a week I get to drive out and have some non kid related time- I thoroughly enjoy these moments :p It had been a long time since I had been able to do anything for ME. I like it :p But yeh.. 27 dude. Creeping closer and closer to 30. Actually everyone's ages this year are creeping me out.. 28.. two people just turned 28, my brother is turning 24 (what the crap?!), connor will be 6 this year.. just woah. Enough about that though... my team is awesome btw- did I say that yet, no. They are SO freakin sweet. I was already riding high the morning of my birthday, but then they made it all that much sweeter later. seriously....... I love them :] the whole lot of them.
I am eating the most amazing lunch atm.. asian noodles with soy ginger sauce, veggies & sesame seeds. Seriously.. I rock, be jealous. I'm going to go finish it now and stop typing :p haha.
*muah*
love la

Am I ... blogging? gasp the world is ending!

2009-03-07T11:01:00.003-05:00

I'm such an awful blogger... and I gave up on proj 365, I take piccies all the time but keeping up with it was just too much lol. My life is a combination of too busy and too boring- not great for things like 365.
So quick update on life.. hm. Some things are stressing me out to the max.. some things are making me incredibly happy <3 ..my kidlet is crazy hyper and keeps me on my toes.. you know the usual. He actually just spent the last 20 minutes dissecting/killing ants... mmm fun times. Yeh we have ants again, why .. is beyond me. The kitchen is clean, and we live in a 3rd floor apartment.. but apparently these ants thought it would be a killah party up here.. i dunno, I don't see the excitement in meeting your demise c/o a 5 yr old boy- but whatever floats your boat ants lol.
My hair .. is incredibly sad right now. (see I told you my life is particularly boring- but I do like to talk about my hair so deal lol). It still needs to be cut, and I need to figure out this colour issue. I have some things coming up in my life that uhm.. well pink hair wouldn't mesh too well with. The pink is all faded out at this point, and it's a very odd mix of the drk brown and various shades of yellow. Super hot.. I may just leave it like this for now, I can clip it back in certain ways to make it not look so freaking weird.
Speaking of hair clippies-- I loove them-- and my favorite site evah Shana Logic has theee cutests hair clippies! I adore them.. here are a few of my favorites.. I won't show you everything on the site ^_^ I promise..

aren't those all freakin adorable? Ok that was a lot of them.. but still.. I love them all. I'm totally in a clippie phase. I went through a head band phase when my hair was a bit shorter.. now we're onto these. I have some darling bows (they ARE darling :p I am not 5), and some gemmie clips.. and a rainbow clip.. I just <3 them :]

Well I suppose I need to stop writing now because I just turned to look at kidlet and noticed he's drawing all over himself- again. At least it's orange and purple this time and not black. Black marker is incredibly difficult to get off - in case you were wondering :p

peace out peeps :]
*muah*
La

365 catch up..

2009-01-17T16:10:00.003-05:00

So.. I'm thinking it may just be easier for me to post my pics once a week :p I'm OBVIOUSLY incapable of doing it every day LMAO. I also apparently started labeling my piccies.. erm.. dunno why I randomly started doing that. whateverz. Makes it all seem more organized or some shizz.

1/11/09 was laundry day.. really.. that was the excitement of the day. Actually.. the more exciting part was that I actually folded it right away ^_^

11/12/09 yeezz I dyed my hair.. since I was just whining about how ick the faded colour looked. the funny thing is, that when I did it.. it actually came out purpley for once (which didn't last.. as you will see from the pic from the next day). whateverz. I wicked need a hair cut.. I also realized this while fixing the colour..

11/13/09 working hard or hardly working? I think the latter... I was grumpy for whatever reason.. and blotchy apparently... & majorly struggling to get motivated. I have this major brain malfunction and can't work on monday & tuesday (well I try, but not very successfully). As you can see.. I was majorly distracted :p I zoomed in and was talking to 6 people and on SSD.. oops. ^_^ Oh yes.. and here is the erm.. weird colour. It's faded to a real pink by this point now .. but.. well.. this pic is from tuesday, and I am catching up :p

11/14/09 THE.MOST.ANNOYING.TOY.ON.THE.PLANET. gr. So Ce frequently comes home from his dad with new.. stuff. This time.. he brought home this stupid iron man toy. Which ce keeps hitting the button on repeatedly. Wed night.. I was seriously contemplating hucking it out the window after hearing "I am iron man" "deflect their blasts" 50000000000000000000 times.

11/15/09 Now, I should have taken a pic of my fizzster notebook the day I wrote her her letter.. but.. well I didn't. LOL. I took one friday though because I was majorly doodling in it, and no.. I am not showing you my doodles. Fizzster can attest to the fact that seriously.. no one needs to see what happens when I'm bored. I drew her like this creepy nurse thing.. and other stuff that my blog doesn't want to hear about :p specifically.. THAT stuff.. that doesnt' go here.. was what was drawn all in my notebook on friday. I opened it up just now .. and laughed hysterically wondering wth is wrong with me. I may not be allowed to touch pen and paper again. really. the whole page fizzster.. in big letters.. and other gay stuff. *woah*
Oh.. wow.. I babbled. Also my nailpolish with rainbowy glitter.. <3 cause I was doing my nails LOL... EXCITING.

11/16/09 haha I almost skipped over this day. Anyway.. Last night, I was wicked annoyed. All I wanted was quiet.. and all ce wanted was to work on addition on his lil star wars computer. Nothing was cooperating.. my head was about to explode.. my oven was being slow.. and all I kept hearing was "mom.. what's 1 plus 9.. is it 6?" no connor.. no it's not 6.. think and figure it out.. " 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 is it 10?!" yes connor.. " MOOOOOOM where's the 10 on the keyboard" #@#%^@#^@#$!@# there's no 10 connor.. you have to press 1 and 0.. " OOOOOOOk.. why isn't there a 10?? where is 1.. oh there is 1.. is an A the same thing as 0?" #$%#@$%@#$%# PRESS ONE AND THEN ZERO CONNOR!.. yeh.. I don't have the patience ever for this stuff. I try.. really.. but I was sooo crankfastic last night LMAO. (and yes.. this pic was taken during the day..... I was so not whipping out the camera last night while I was shooting lasers out of my eyes)

11/17/09 aaah and today. LOL.. Ce went with his dad again today [ I knoow.. 2 days!]. So I farted around getting some work done. SOME.. not a hellova lot but SOME. LOL So here is a pic of my corner of the world.. when I was able to focus in peace.. no nagging about stupid addition problems :p *teehee* now I don't have to stalk darcenator on SSD.. have my very own giant pic of david tennant to keep me company :p He replaced the pic of leto flipping off puppy dogs and rainbows on my desktop ^_^ and yes.. I was totally sitting here in the dark :p it's all gloomy outside.

catching up

2009-01-10T19:03:00.002-05:00

So I'm a slacker.. well a half slacker.. those stupid sickies held onto me so tightly this week. But.. fabulous news.. la seems to be almost 100% better today :] woot woot.. so I may as well post up all the piccies I missed for this week LOL

1/6/09 yes.. yes.. my child is climbing the curtains. he was out of control that day. this is what happens when mommy is too sick to chase after you. I did make him promise never to do that again

1/7/09 breaking things.. take 2. So first he broke his lil anikan toy.. and now this big ole shell my mom gave him. she brought it home with her after one of their last drives up to maine.. and he smashes it. nice kid.
1/8/09 Kiddo went with his dad thursday, instead of the usual wednesday. I was alone.. grumpy.. still sick.. and trying to figure out wth my hair faded to such an ugly colour. Need to fix the pink. :]

1/9/09 I miss my grandma. :[ I wore this necklace to the funeral in july.... and I wore it all day this day, randomly yes.. but I wanted to. [awesome explanations on these piccies I know!]
1/10/09 yom yom yom.. kiiiity! .. yeh more kitty torture. Kiddo is seriously lucky this cat hasn't totally spazzed out on him yet. there was a pre-series to this.. all with kitty decked out in my bra :p This one was more fitting though :p

Day 5

2009-01-05T20:15:00.003-05:00

I'm totally not in the mood to blog today :p so just the piccie.. I dunno why it looks so jacked up.. I was apparently not paying attention to what I was doing LOL. I'll fix it later :p .. Just sums up our day. Blargh. Poor Anikan has suffered because of it.

cough cough cough

2009-01-04T15:59:00.004-05:00

:[ I have thee ugliest sounding cough today. It's bleck. I'll live..but I feel like whining and laying around instead lol. Ce is fine, so hopefully it just passes through me and then gets the hell out of our house. He's surprisingly healthy overall.. so we may luck out.
He's so stinkin cute when I'm sick though.. he goes into mommy mode and tries to take care of me hehe. He keeps telling me to lay down, brought me gatorade (instead of soup, it's better for me apparently *laughs*), rubbed my back, brought me a blankie etc. Suuch a sweet little boy. Who needs a hubby when I have a kid like this ;) lol...... granted, I doubt I would get even close to this sort of treatment from any man.... I'm hoping I'm raising ce right though.. so that one day he's super sweet to whoever he settles down with ^_^

so that brings me to my 365 pic for today.. #4 woot

not the world's greatest pic or anything.. but there is ce being sweet, and me looking like I got run over by a truck, or 5. LOL I would never post a pic of me looking like that... if it wasn't for my kid being stinkin adorable LOL. There was a 2nd pic but my stupid glasses caught the light from the window, ce also looked more like he was trying to put me in a headlock. haha.

In other news.... shawna, is an angel, and I love love love her. She & G are the best "family" I could ever ask for.. I love you guys, seriously.. I won't forget how wonderful you guys are to us ever. And........ other gay stuff :] I'm light headed LOL don't mind me.

err.. that is all I think. I started typing out other stuff, but it got wicked weird wicked fast. So no more typing today. Sleepz.. yes. mmm..

cleaning? what on earth is that?!

2009-01-03T15:08:00.004-05:00

Photo Day 3 :] My favorite lil brush.. which is still sitting there waiting for me. Kidlet just ran in & saw the pic and said moooom that's still sitting int he bathroom! LOL.. isn't it cute.. I should probably put it to use LOL. I've been avoiding a good scrub down of the house.. it really really needs it, but it seems like so much work :p So I'll just admire my cute scrubby brush for the moment. I use to be like, ridiculously anal about cleaning.. somewhere along the lines I got lazy and just don't have the energy anymore *laughs*
Today is a much better day than yesterday.. thank you so much for all the kind comments :] I mean, I'll still suck.. but I dunno, I woke up this morning and smiled, because damnit I don't NEED to be perfect :p I'm embracing my imperfections today.. including sucking at cleaning lol. I'm also back on my cloud- :p - so that helps significantly. Positive gay weird la is way more fun than cranky down in the dumps la any day- even if she is slightly annoying ;)
So.. I'm off to actually straighten up things.. and stop poking around on facebook, at least for a little bit. FB is way too addicting for a nosey person like me LOL I love reading everyone's lil status messages.. and leaving randomness everywhere I go. tis fun I tell ya.. facebook is genious ;)
That's all for now.. I may come back with a cleaning status update LOL. We shall see :]
*muah*
La

Day 2- and more randomness :]

2009-01-02T13:19:00.003-05:00

So day 2 is upon us.. I figured this was the perfect pic for today as I sat here looking at my phone still blinking reminding me that I'm way behind today. It isn't just that I refused to wake up this morning, everything is off :p It'd rock if I started acting like a grown up and got out of bed at a normal hour- 830a is already "late" and I didn't get my butt up till prolly 1030a. Not that I'm really complaining about that, I like sleeping in.. but it's just magnifying my sucktitude today (sorry shawna LOL).
Poor shawna had to listen to me ranting about being a crapfastic mom (and other things that bloggie doesn't need to hear).. I just feel like I've been putting on a show this past year. Everyone thinks I've been rocking this whole single mom thing, but I swear each day that goes by I am a little less sure on myself. There's the whole balance stuff, which I've babbled about in random journaling- that's normal- something every mom single or not has to deal with..... but the other crap, blargh. It nags at me because, while my ex dh was trying to just take one last dig @ me before he left.. he said something like he hoped his leaving would make me "well enough to be a good mom".. like I was some sort of cracked out suckfest or something. I thought I was a rocking mom before he left, I fought tooth and nail for my kid... life was tough then for sure, and yeh yeh... things are better for Connor now, things are more stable in my home at least, we're moving more positively etc........ but, I don't know. Stupid stuff, like not playing with him enough, not reading to him enough, forgetting to make him brush his teeth-- things I should be fully capable of staying on top of no matter what :p Shawna says we're just finding the healthy balance now.. that before- Ce was my EVERYTHING.. that it was too much.. I've heard that from other people too, to the point of people telling me that the kid and I were smothering each other.. but you can't just turn it off and go in the complete opposite direction. I dunno.....
so yeh.. this is making no sense LOL. There's like a ton of other stuff going on that is clouding my head and making it ridiculously impossible to get one stinkin thought out clearly today :p

But all in all. I'm off. I'm a step behind.. and I think I missed my wake up call.. on so many things.

Peace out.
La

Project 365- and randomness

2009-01-01T18:33:00.004-05:00

So.. @ ssd we're starting up project 365 photo a day etc etc. I take pics most days as is, but this is a lil extra motivator to capture the year in photos :] I'm hoping as well this will inspire me to take pics other than just of the kidlet & I -- and perhaps get a little better with the whole, taking pics in general too haha. I'm not what you'd call.. a stellar photographer, as shall be noted by my first photo :p

So here she be.. my first photo-- and first lessons of 2009. "chucks" really really are not suitable snow wear. I love these shoes though. I'll spare my dear bloggie here the nike rant today though ;) lol and second of course.. is that I'm almost 27 yrs old and really should know how to properly tie my shoes :p and that you know.. the laces should go OVER the tongue of the shoe :p that might be asking a lil too much though.

So there's my feet... Photo #1 :] Hopefully I remember to do every day! lol.. It will be fun :]

Randomness now.....I'm sooooo super excited about a few things on my resolutions list. Especially the school one. I can't stop talking about it to anyone who will listen LOL. I've been wanting to do this forever, as some of you know- I started talking about it last year but life got ahead of me. I'm hoping eventually to focus on herpetology.. which would be my dreaaaaam. I don't know exactly where I'd go from there, research or something.. but I'm stoked. Kidlet and I talked about it today too LOL he is fascinated by the concept of college.. lol. Eeeee! Of course, I have to get through all the other resolutions too. Some of them aren't keeping me too excited :p Especially January right now :p ..... Why did I listen to shawna and keep that one t here :p
and a few more :p :p :p
lol

That's all :] Haappy New year everyone!!!!!!!!!! :]

resolutions.. finalized :]

2009-01-01T01:10:00.003-05:00

brrr

2008-12-30T10:03:00.003-05:00

It's windy outside! very very windy lol.
So last night I was talking to one of my friends about resolutions. He totally rocked this past years resolution.. and is preparing for next years. I've never made any sort of resolution but he inspired me to give it a whack this year. I figure nye is tomorrow.. I might as well get cracking and come up with something good. His new resolution is to quit smoking... completely lol.. and while this should probably be mine too I figured it'd be lame if I just stole his for my first ever. I tried to come up with something cool, I wanted it to be fun but kept coming up with wicked gay ideas. At 3am this morning while staring at the wall wishing I was asleep I came up with something that I thought would work. It has the potential to cover all the boring things.. and some fun things so it could work out.
I decided to break it up so that it'd be easier on miss I lack motivation.. and have decided that once a month.. all year.. I should do something that I want to do, but have been otherwise hesitant or afraid of doing. Little things.. big things.. whatever. For instance I am terrified of trains.. but it would be way easier to go up to boston if I just got on a stupid train instead of having to deal with the annoying traffic (and people on bikes! omg.... I think they may be worse than the cars lol).
So now I just need to come up with 12 things.. I'm not sure if I should think them up all at once, or come up with a new idea each month.. we'll see. Maybe just come up with 3 month plans.. January do something fun that I weenied out of last week (yeh that was purposely vague lol), February maybe I can take the train.. March I can get that first tattoo I want (ok I really really do want to do this in march.. but I'm afraid I will weenie out .. again lol.. what better way to utilize my new resolution lol).
We'll see how it goes.. but I think it could totally rock ;)

hellooo dear sweet bloggie.

2008-12-27T11:17:00.003-05:00

I think I need to start posting again, regularly that is. I mean I still don't really have anything much interesting to babble about.. but you never know what random thoughts may pop into my head while typing. They could be really important lol.

Hmmz.. we can start with the standard "Catch up on La's randomness" ..
I am happy.. with the way life is-- stressed to hell of course, but happy with the way things are for the most part. Kid is good, bored and insane, but good... Friends are great, far away.. and I am beginning to hate driving- which is remarkable. I love driving, but apparently there are just some places that I am having issues tolerating (lol).. Cat is alive.. which is also remarkable :p Christmas was ok, went to the rents, drank too much wine.. Ce was whiney and passed out- but overall.. good day. My hair is growing out, insanely quickly.. which is odd to me. I mean my hair has always grown fast, but this is like bwahpffffffffft. (I really made that noise. go ahead and try.. I'm pretty cool you know). Hmm what else.... I'm struggling coming up with ideas for kits lately, the ones that do happen are usually pretty random. Like the other week.. I was sitting here all dorky and seriously yelled "I want to draw a spoon!" ...... yeh I have no idea what the crap that was lol but it worked I guess..
Oh.. and I guess I can tell everyone..
I am totally in love..

with this cereal I am eating ^_^ I'll have to find the box, it is delicious.... I think it's like old people cereal though, it seems all... fibery. Maybe tomorrow I will have something interesting to say :p
Have a great weekend
*muah*
La

Want to Win?

2008-12-27T10:48:00.002-05:00

Want to Win a Custom kit or $10 GC to my shoppe? Check out this lil contest I have running at Sweet Shoppe Designs! Post your entries in THIS THREAD by January 3rd @ 9am EST.

Can't wait to see your entries!! Hope everyone has a GREAT end of 2008!! :]

*muah*

pfft..

2008-12-20T23:59:00.008-05:00

so I was all excited that I was actually going to post.. I'm lame and keep getting way too frippin frazzled to keep up with this whole bloggity thing.. but then...... after 5 tries, I realize I can't remember my password >< and I totally forgot what I wanted to write about in the first place! so I'm just going to wing it..

1) Connor turned 5 yesterday O_O!

and here is a pic of him at 1 week (sorry it's so dark.. old shatty scan)

I dunno how many now know about ce's birth.. but it was a hard time. Today was super important to ce.. because when he was born, he weighed 4lbs 15 oz.. and his goal for his birthday was to hit 40lbs.. he missed it by one day.. but check it out :D LOL I'm so proud of him for hitting his goal hahah. He's wicked tall.. so he's still a pune.. but 40lbs is super awesome for a 5yr old, especially for one who started as small as he did. He beat the odds.. and he's perfect :)

Let's see.. 2) I'm happy. ^_^
I apologize to all my friends who have been dealing with my gay babbling. really.. I know I make you want to puke LOL.. I'm posting my apology publicly so that everyone can smack me upside the head when you start complaining LOL

3) shawna is texting me and I keep forgetting what I am about to type next. someone tell her to just get online sheesh LOL jk

4) I totally can't remember anything else LOL... ce is the most important thing to babble about anyway. so peace out dudes.

*muah*
La

kids are smart..

2008-11-15T17:57:00.002-05:00

so I haven't posted in forever.. obviously LOL. things have been insane, btwn designing, store stuff, irl stuff... just a whirlwind of crap and not a lot of time to stop and think. So.. blah blah blah you know.. all that LOL. I'm still adjusting to this whole single mom thing- while on the other hand it seems like it's been forever now. There are still issues popping up every day that I'm not sure how to deal with.. be they personal issues, or issues that directly effect the kidlet .. things I can't control, things I can.. you name it.. we seem to slam into these walls all at once though- which makes it even harder to process it all :p I'm a pretty spazzy person haha so it's not going well on my brain at all.

so back to the kids are smart bit.. I was sitting on the couch just thinking (I don't advise this really lol), and I just let out a lil growl smacked the back of the couch and stood up.. Connor, who I am pretty sure by this point thinks I'm crazy LOL.. asks me what was wrong. I told him simply that I was confused about some things and not really sure what I wanted but not to worry about it. He in turn responds with.. "I hate being confused.. it makes me feel insane (mind you he's just about 5 lol).. when I'm confused.. I think.. and I say.. my tummy is hungry.. it wants food.. so I eat a granola bar... and then I'm not confused anymore".. I giggled and told him it wasn't that easy when you're a mommy.. but why can't it be? I love the sweet innocence my kiddo possess.. the simplicity in which he views the world.. I wish I could step back and just look at things the way he does for one day...... It'd at least calm down my brain a lil bit :p

sigh.

2008-10-09T23:06:00.003-04:00

things suck.
period.

lol

so let's see, ce and I are still actually sick, it is like the never ending cold. He still has a bit of a cough and apparent insomnia.. I have the opposite- land of total exhaustion here. We were surviving though you know.. getting better, slowly.

Then.. ce developed a large lump? on his chin- at first I thought it was a mosquito bite.. but no. of course, I freak out.. (well not immediately LOL but eventually I did).. his dad has been exposed to mrsa about 5000 times at work, so of course that's one of the first things running through my mind as it was getting bigger and worse despite my basic wound treatments.

So I took him to the dr yesterday.. no idea what it is yet, I have to call tomorrow to see if the results from his swab are back, but I am hopeful. He's been on the antibiotics they gave him for a lil more than 24 hours (well 1 dose more than), and the stronger antibiotic ointment.. and it "seems" to be getting smaller.. at least the outer red area, so......here's hoping it's not the big bad evil mrsa and the antibiotics are kicking it's butt. Maybe they can take away his cough too while they're at it :p I was pretty panicky yesterday.. ce is allergic to sulfa meds.. and has other issues so-- it's just not something he should have to deal with.. so I get a bit spazzy :))

Poor kid has been dealing with everything the past month..ridiculous. I just want him to feel better finally. He's a pretty sensitive kid, so.. all this "torture" (ie warm compresses and application of the ointment) are like.. the end of the world and he's back to hating me haha, but it's all worth it if it makes him better :)

So yeh.. that's the basic mini update.. explains why I've been less than chatty and .. more distracted than usual. I'm still trying to catch up on work but I'm having serious focusing issues. It's like the computer just puts me right to sleep and I can't function anymore. Oye.. LOL I'm ready for all of this to be over so kidlet and I can get back to normal.

the team blog is down..

2008-10-01T12:15:00.002-04:00

again.... and again .. and again. I'm pretty fed up with all the database issues my server has been having since I switched. I'll prolly be on the hunt for a new server soon :p Just wanted to throw that out there. Oh, gallery is down too.. I almost forgot. Woo.. >_<

That is all... I'm (hoping lol) to be busy looking at CARS today!! woot woot.. :) I should get a call sooon. Fingers crossed peeps.

I'll update later, unless I'm grumpy haha.

*muah*

Another sleepless night..

2008-09-24T01:21:00.005-04:00

filled with coughing kids (well, one kid) and a crappy feeling me. Figured I might as well post my wicked late truthful tuesday post since I'm bloody awake anyway lol.
I have decided I am making a list..

1) I always, always forget every single password I use. Of course since I do a lot of wicked important (lol) stuff online, almost everything has an entirely different password- things get confusing. Sometimes it takes me 10 minutes to log into SSD or Blogger because I have to run through every stankin password I have.. it's annoying. I don't know where the "truth" was in this one.. that I am easily annoyed.. or forgetful or what.. but there you have it.

2) In the past week I went from psycho anit-meds nazi to medicating my child around the clock. I apparently just can't handle coughing suddenly. He's actually doing a little better tonight- woo.. but seriously..he's been medicated since friday and I feel like crap because of it. I know it's not making him any better.. it is helping him sleep though- well sort of, he's been doing most of his sleep at odd hours, so in a round about way I am trying to make myself feel better about it sort of.

3) I'm falling further and further behind on things that I need to get done because of this bloody cold/flu/whatever it is. I have had a constant headache on top of the other crapola.. and I just want to well.. put my head through the computer screen at the moment. That would be quite counter productive though.. so instead.. I am sitting here staring at it, waiting to see if connor settles back down so I can go sneak back into bed.

4) last night, while rocking him back to sleep, I read this really interesting essay/article/whateverz in my allure magazine (yes.. once again.. I have NO idea why I get allure mags.. but I read them anyway) about like obsessive behaviors/obsessions/etc.. it was actually pretty interesting. *says the girl who just refreshed her email 500 times.. yeh.. obsessive behaviors lol*

5) Connor is way too big to be rocked. WAY too big. He's like my moms chocolate lab.. they both think they're itty bitty still and climb up on yer lap. Kid.. you're seriously like just under 2ft shorter than me.. please stop. I love you SO so much, but you are breaking my body lol. I know you feel like crap, I do too.. but one day, very soon probably, I'm not going to be able to pick you up anymore, and .. we just need to break this habit asap.

6) I am very thankful that I am a tall-ish woman. At least in relation to Connor. In other situations I tend to hunch over because I feel a bit akward.. Which is odd- seeing what I grew up with. I'm 5'7.. not a giant, but taller than "average".. but all the males in my family are all super tall.. my dad is 6'4- my cousins are all around there, my uncle.. I think my aunt was even near there LOL.. I had no reason to hunch over growing up, I was always staring at shoulders.. but whatever, I do anyway. (In case you were wondering.. Ce is just (like an inch if we're lucky) under 4' tall.. already. I guess he got my family genes. He'll putter out soon I'm sure.. lol)

7) I'm totally.. totally uninspired right now.

8) I miss my mom and she lives 5 minutes away....

9) I'm a big animal lover- we know this- but I seriously.. can not stand this cat. He is making me bonkers. He's also like, way too cuddly. If I wanted a cuddly animal.. well I don't know where I was going with that, but I'd prefer an animal who cuddles with me not to gnaw on my body parts randomly while we sleep. It's unpleasant, so cut the crap cat. You have your own bed. He ONLY snuggles with me (understandably since ce tortures him). I even like purposely rotate where I sleep (ok, that really is just me being crazy.. but we'll say it's because of this) and he still follows me into the other rooms and lays his fat butt all up on me. sigh. He's a sweet cat mostly, he's just.. well a cat.

10) I thought connor was asleep but, well I'm still not sure. He's talking. This is one of those reasons I don't like meds.. they make my kid crazy. I still remember, when my brother was little .. he was on some mega steroids for his asthma-- and he use to talk a LOT in his sleep.. and one night he was yelling "PUSH THE RED BUTTON!!" over and over.. it was quite odd lol. So yeh, that's all I think of. Though I will say... that since I've been medicating him he hasn't had one single nightmare-- that's good right.. eergh. I don't know why he's been having so many lately, they've all been really scary to him though. He calls them "movies in his eyes" (lol).. sometimes I like die in them and stuff-- no 4 year old should be dreaming that crap. Bleck.

11) and lastly... I will leave you with the voodoo frog.. this is also what medicating my child brings about.. weirdness about.

aye

2008-09-19T14:28:00.002-04:00

So today be talk like a sea dog tide . This be th' best way t' talk. Everythin' ortin' ta be spoken like this, from now on (or until me hade be tired o' 't). So.. Connor an' I be sea sick.. *sigh* He`s in th' shower steamin' up his hade.I be havin' work t' do o' course but canna focus on anythin'. 'ceptin' this o' course. This be entertainin'. I be torturin' shawna mostly, on accoun' o' that be what I do.. that be what a good buxom beauty does. hahaha So aye, I be havin' nothin' t' actually say.. but really wanted t' be havin' a shipmate speak post on me blog today. `Tis a requirement an' what nay. Aft t' work an' brain explosions an' th' like. Be havin' a great tide me wenches.

Truthful Tuesday

2008-09-16T11:12:00.003-04:00

lol yeh ye... I missed last week. I know :)) It's cool that other peeps are doing this with me now though - woot- LOL you'll all just have to pick up the slack when I space out :))

So that's not my amazingly truthful post... but here comes.

I'm a bad friend. Really. More so, I'm really a lot more controlling than I realize- and when I don't have that "control" I just pull away. Granted I'm like that with everything.. It's probably why a lot of my friendships just fizzle out and die after a while-- unless the other half is really determined to kick my ass and refuse to let me be a douche that is LOL.
One of my friends, has been going through a really horrid time for a long while now, and I know she'll read this- but since I'm not really talking about what's going on with her but how much of a douche I am I guess it'll be ok to write this as my TT post. I'm pretty sure this is a cross roads I've come to in every single friendship.. We get to a point, where I just start pulling back. Why? I dunno.. it's always right when they probably need me the most- which of course wreaks havoc on that relationship base there. I'm not really good with the emotional side- of anything, of myself and more importantly my friends LOL. I have like this threshold-- a very low threshold.. and I will give everything up until that point.. and if it continues, if nothing changes, or if they turn back and don't make the "change" I expect them to.. I am spent.. and I have nothing more to give- and I try to run away. Is that fair to them? Of course not.. I really need to stop expecting people to just follow what *I* think is best for them.. that is asinine, really. People make their own choices, and it's my job as a friend to support them, not to tell them what to do. I can still think I am right.. deep inside, everyone does, but I shouldn't yank my support because I don't know how to deal with the way I feel about it without screaming. They already have enough shizz going on that they don't need their friends becoming another negative aspect. (Seriously, I am rolling my eyes at myself LOL.. ). I don't really know what it is more of.. my inability to deal with peoples emotional side, or my inability to take just relax and let people live their lives. I just want to grab everyone by the shoulders, stand them up straight and tell them how freakin awesome they are and that they deserve better.. so much better. Is that wrong? LOL..

:)

2008-09-15T16:47:00.004-04:00

So part of my adventures today involved ce announcing to the entire market (Well the part of the market that we were in anyway LOL) that he thought my hair looked HORRID and I needed to buy hair dye. haha thanks. Well it did look horrid really. It was this strange mix of brown orange and yellow. I had promised shawna I wouldn't dye my hair for 3 months and well went above and beyond that. I don't know what I was waiting for.. my entire head to be grey? Who knows (oh yeh.. I forgot that colour in the mix.. I like to pretend it doesn't exist.)

Anywayz.. omgosh..

ahaha. I forgot how much I love red tones :) In mommy world, red tones have really been my only hair "thrill". I think I would look pretty silly with my pre-ce hair.. but that blah brown poop just had to go. I hate it.. I was just complaining the other day about how dull my hair looked.

Sooooooo.. the moment you have been waiting for (Well not really.. if you were like anxiously anticipating this that would be really odd..) here are some pics with ze new colour..
ignore my shotty camera skills.. and my doofy faces. I do not know why I am glowing, but I DO know that I don't smile often because my face looks enormous (as you can tell by one ofthe pics haha) I have big ole chipmunk cheeks, they are better hidden...always. My faaaaavorite thing about red tones.. is that it makes the green pop more in my eyes :) I know it's gay.. to be like all loving a feature on myself LOL.. but my eyes are like the one thing that I'll always have and love-- I can gain 500 lbs, but I'll still have neat eyes LMAO

ok.. done being lame..

here are the pics for real..

getting tired of trying to look normal

and the final frustration.. lol

that is all.. NOW I have get back to work since I've been off galvanting all day- but it was a much needed (and great) break :)

bibis
*muah*
La

sometimes he reminds me it's all worth it

2008-09-08T07:02:00.000-04:00

Several months ago (well I think it was that long anyway) when I was at my wits end with connor and venting to robin, she said that ce wasn't looking for a friend right now, what he really needed was for me to be firm and discipline him (something along those lines), he needed me to continue being the strong steady mom---you know the mom I use to be. Admittedly, I am sure that some of the behavioral issues I've been having with connor are really MY fault- and not just the situation we're in now/the change in our lives or the age. I've become inconsistent and giving in too much-- I have this great fear that he'll decide he hates me one day and want to go live with his dad instead of staying with me. I know that's crazy talk.. and something I don't even need to think about till he's like.. 16 and moody LOL.
Anyway.. we were having a *really* really bad day yesterday. He lost his movies (he earns one every other day), he lost his smart cycle, I was about to start taking things out of his room .. LOL .. really bad day.. he kept pushing and pushing, but I stayed firm.. I told him he wasn't going to disrespect me any more and just kept putting him back in his room and told him when he was ready to behave and act like a big boy he could come out and talk to me.
This went on for a while.. lately-- as in the past few months-- I've been so awful about being consistent. He'd scream and yell at me and say but I wanted to follow directions, and I cave and don't stick to his punishment. Obviously this was the wrong plan-- as he was just getting worse and worse. Today, was the last straw though...... no more of the weenie mommy.
Several hours later,he was calm, his chores were done.. he was being super super helpful and sweet.. and he says "Mom I have something to tell you... " expecting something goofy and ridiculous like normal I prepared for something weird like.. dog cats have lemur tails-- but he said.. "I want to tell you something... Mom... you're a great mom.. You're doing good.. don't be sad or mad or sad or anything anymore ok?? I want you to be HAPPY.. you are GREAT and I love you forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever."
**aww kid**
Every once in a while ce comes out with these beautiful things.. and I am just truly blessed to have such an amazing kid.. So I guess what I'm saying is.. 1) I love my kid lol but 2) Robin really was right all those months ago. What the kid wants.. what the kid needs is for me to just buck up and be the "mean" mommy while I have to.. He NEEDS the rules.. he WANTS the structure.. and well, I'll keep giving it to him then :)

taking a minute to post

2008-09-07T10:13:00.005-04:00

Not sure how much time I'll have this week to post random never ending babbles on my blog -lol- I'm up to my eyeballs in things that need to get finished btwn today and.. the 14th ;) so we'll see. Figured I'd pop on for one one moment of randomness while illustrator loads though.

Connor are competing for sound control atm.. I have pandora running (which is awesome btw.. check it out if you haven't already, shawna turned me onto it .. last year sometime. Awesomeness) and Connor is playing that (annoying) smart cycle game thing of his. Apparently we're both blasting our "sound" in order to try the other one out.. Our neighbors must love us haha.

Geez illustrator is being cranky today. I have a million things to do load up already. I just took some random quiz, a gay "what song are you".. and I have never even heard of this stinkin song it claims I am.

apparently I'm not the only one who didn't know what it was LOL.. did you see all the comments "rarah this was my result on quizilla" lol that's too funny.

Anyway, Hanna finally rolled through last night- it was quite a pathetic storm indeed.. but it did knock us down like 10 degrees, so that's a huge help. It's supposed to rain on and off like all week now, so we should stay tolerable again. It was so nasty humid yesterday waiting for the storm to get here-- and it didn't really even "get here" till night time. It was insane.. like -- breathing water. I gave in and plugged the AC back up. Connor was whining that he was sweating and didn't feel good, that was enough for me. We live in an oven practically (3rd floor apartment), so whateverz.. they can charge me for an extra month, I don't care... my kid comes first :)

Why am I still taking quizes.. Like I needed a quiz to tell me that I'm "down to earth" .. or what kind of girlfriend I am (LOL ok I couldn't finish that one, the questions were just ridiculous.. lol lol) there are some oooodd quizes here. Oh, I'll take this one.. since I have NO idea ANYTHING about that twilight series everyone was always ooh'ing and aah'ing about.. let's see which twilight character I am..

Edward Cullen.

You're a sexy vampire whom every person in the room can't help but stare at! You can read every one but your true love's mind. Good for you, now go charm yourself a Bella Swan.

That's a good thing right?? hahahahahah I have no clue. lmao I'll be sexxy though.

and with that, I am going to stop wasting time and hopefully get to work. Connor is occupying himself for once, so I'm going to take advantage.

Have a great weekend peeps :)
*muah*
La

my blog is wicked boring..

2008-09-04T10:40:00.003-04:00

LOL.. or I am wicked boring. Probably both. I am sitting here waiting for ce's dad to come pick him up.. looking at my blog.. wondering why anyone reads it lmao. I am sure this post will be equally boring, as I have nothing to say.
See look.. I had SO much to say that 30 minutes have gone by since I started typing LOL.. no jk he showed up. I've been trying to get myself to *enjoy* the days that ce goes with his dad.. but it's just so weird to me still. We're never apart- I think I had someone babysit him like.. 2 times? and he's nearly 5, so having him go somewhere without me once a week is nerve racking. Alas, such is life right? Preparing me for school next year and what not... lol. I have gobs of work to catch up no anyway. I started drawing up some cute lil guys yesterday based on the doodles kidlet is always making. I like how they turned out. Totally cute-t appropriate.
Shawna and I have been talking about making t-shirts (adult/teen/whatever/just different than the kid sizes lol), and like onsies and kids stuff for like.. a year? now. Plus of course, I'll need to make pins too as I love them LOL. I really really really want to do it.. hopefully in the future it's possible. Just have to figure out a few million things- and you know, funds and such are important too. She said yesterday (or the day before?? my days kinda melt together) that it would be so awesome if ce & I could move out there and we all opened (well she and I haha ce wouldn't be part of our buisness adventures) a little tiny shoppe and sold stuff (LOL .. our plans are very thorough btw). Of course, moving clear across the country isn't exactly an option at this point-- but we can dream still right? I love the west coast... I would move out there in a heart beat if it weren't for other.. uhm.. issues. Being an east coast gal, well.. the only other place on this continent I'd be happy is the other coast LOL. I can not imagine living in like.. nebraska *haha clear sign la really needs sleep, I had to double check a map to make sure nebraska is actually the state I was thinking of*.
I just drifted off into la la land again.. this time wasn't as long though. Just dreaming.. I need to go back out there, maybe next summer. OR shawna and I can fulfill our whole pretend vacation- stopping for some time in the redwood forest, then down to san fran for some goofing off. Not that that's a huge distance for her LOL.. but I've been itching to go back to san fran since I was last out there (good lord........ that was like 7-8 years ago!! feeling old..) I will spare you the actual details of our pretend vacation.. haha.. because well they are QUITE ridiculous LOL. At the very least I need to go back to WA .. It's been a whole year since I was out there :( I miss shawna and the boys.. and you know I have to meet baby t before he's grown.
Ok enough senseless babbling... really. I have way too much work to catch up on and I'm just wasting time. It's already 1130am and ce will be back in a few hours. Work work work.. never ends. :)

*muah*
La

truthful tuesdays :)

2008-09-02T06:55:00.003-04:00

I have no idea where this post is going to go today. It's still way too early for me, and I'm not feeling especially open and chipper. Connor, my dear sweet boy, woke up at 530am.. I am not a morning person--at all. There's been plenty of nights when I haven't gone TO bed until 530am. I'm feeling a bit crummy about it, because he usually does wake up before me- he asks to get out of his room, usually a "mommy I have to go pee" I mumble something incoherent and roll back over. Most days if it's SUPER early he will come snuggle with me, he did for a minute this morning- but then it was over. He was bounding about all hyper and well very loud. I just wish I was a morning person.. LOL.. so that I could hang out with him, keep him entertained and so forth- or even just get an earlier start on the day. I am seriously DRAGGING my butt until like.. noon. I just sit around.. zoned out. I'm not a fun mommy apparently. I'll never be that mom who has everyone bundled up at 730 am and out the door for a day full of fun. I just can't do it. Lord help me when he starts school LOL. I had even found an alarm clock online last night thinking if I set a new annoying alarm, I'll be able to get up with ce and be all bright and cheery. Only problem is, I Set it for 830am. If I start setting that thing for 530, I may go crazy. I can't even fathom purposely waking up at that time every single day. I told shawna, connor's new bedtime shall be like.. 2am- just so there's no way he could ever want to wake up this early anymore hahaha, but I Don't think that will go well. I DO need to work at night while he's sleeping-- which is part of the mommy can't wake up at 5am problem.
I just feel bad for the poor kid.. he's got to be so bored overall. There's no one here for him to play with.. just me and the kiddo day in and day out. Geez, *I* am bored and I'm an adult. He's a bouncing bubbly crazy little 4 year old. We need people. LOL any people. Being so isolated here is just not cool.. I know it brings down my mood, and makes me even MORE fun for connor to be stuck around 24/7 hahaha.
Anyway.. he's finishing up his food now (he's rather slow with the eating.. at least that keeps him occupied for a while in the morning), so I'm going to go I have no idea.. zone out. haha. I can't believe I've been awake for an hour and a half.. *grumbles*

5 trash bags..

2008-09-01T15:11:00.003-04:00

and hella frustration later.. Ce's room is respectable LOL. Since I showed off his mountain I figured I'd show you how well he did do in the end. Last night I was frustrated because it *still* wasn't fixed and started bagging crap up to throw away.. He got the point LOL. It's not perfect, it's not anally organized like I like.. but he did it, and I'm proud of him. He also has way too much crap I've decided LOL. His tent is in the closet & he has a play kitchen that is in *my* room temporarily (that's a major draw I tell ya.. nothing says MOM like having a kitchen in your room).

Hoooray no mountain.. LOL he has a floor!! **la realizes she really needs to update the poor kids room.. he's had that rug since he was a baby LOL**

he is much happier with me today.. LOL no claw for mama

and of course.. kid's gotta represent

It's still way cluttered.. and in my world, we'd throw out like 5 more bags of stuff, but.. really, I have to give the kid credit LOL. IT looks WAY better than it did haha.

I hate imitation meat..

2008-08-31T11:31:00.006-04:00

I also hate explaining things to people IRL. Even if it's just three people in a room, it's public speaking to me and I get all shaky and nervous- especially if it's people who I care what they think about me. I was just thinking about this randomly now. It's not that I am embarrassed by my opinions, or don't stand firmly in them-I am just really self conscious about the way I say things, the way I speak in general, and obviously when you get nervous you have a difficult time getting your point across. What does this have to do with imitation meat??
Well a few months ago I was at my "aunts" (she was my moms best friend in highschool).. I generally refuse to eat anything while I am there (another weirdo issue of mine- I don't like to eat im front of most people), so amy (her daughter- we grew up together) was going through the fridge trying to find something I would eat. You see, she was a veg too, for like 9 years, but she suddenly started eating poultry again in the past year or so- her choice. Anyway.. she pulls out some fake imitation turkey sandwich meat. If you've never had the pleasure of seeing/tasting this stuff- it is disgusting. It looks like rotting meat, it's this purple-grey colour...... just all around bad. So I told her as such and that I couldn't eat that-- to which of course I got the standard response of "this is the OPPOSITE of that la it's healthy"..which was quickly followed by the "why are you a veg anyway". I look across the tiny table I'm sitting at in the kitchen and see matt sitting there (her brother), amy is standing above me with this look on her face waiting for me to answer.. my aunt was across the room.... I couldn't get anything out. I put my head on the table and just moaned that I like animals and don't want to eat them.
WHAT?!!??!
that's the best I could come up with. I like animals (yes say it in the DOOFIEST voice you can). I've been a veg for almost 4 years (I was a veg prior as well, but pregnancy apparently forces you to throw all your ideals out the window LOL). In all this time ALL I could come up with is I like animals?!? God forbid anyone ever ask me my opinion on something serious IRL. I'll probably just mumble at them until they go away.
I thought about (seriously, this moment nags me :)) because I think my response was more embarrassing than any explanation I could have given) typing out a huge essay (haha) about why I am a veg and sending it to her, but that would just be totally silly- and I need to let things go. Really what I need to do is learn not to be afraid to speak up around people. Sometimes I'm fine...... When I'm alone with my aunt on our walks- I'll scream my opinions to the sky ;) We had a big political conversation the other day-- every once in a while I start trying to slip back into my shell and say stupid silly things that really are entirely irrelevant though of course. It's just a confidence/comfort issue... something on the long list of crap I need to buck up about LOL.
I don't even know WHY I Was thinking about this today.... I did do similar to traci on the phone though, we started talking about something political and instead of stating my point I just growled a few times... and then said I wasn't talking about it. I prefer typing things.. then I Can go back and delete the stupid crap I say ;) There's actually a HUGE list of things I "avoid speaking about" but to sum them up into little tiny categories 1) being a veg 2) politics 3) feelings LOL 4) anything of significant importance to my life :p I'll talk to you about anything else.. bwahahaha

are we supposed to scrap on saturdays? LMAO

2008-08-30T14:16:00.003-04:00

lol I was just trying to catch up on bloggies and saw two different scrap saturdays :)) I guess though.. it is the day I scrap the most on LOL .. so I'll jump on the bandwagon..

Here's my latest layout :)

credits:

Hootenanny by Libby Weifenbach & ChereKaye
SBS worn overlays 2
flower- grown with love julie billingsley *recoloured*
acylic-o-holic- traci reed
buttons- laura deacetis fleamarketbaby *recoloured*
ribbon- fee jardine ribbony bits *recoloured*

and also of course,I took the lil silly what font are you quiz that was on reed's bloggie

You Are Palatino

You consider yourself to be creative and artistic.

And you'd like everyone else to know it!

You take design and aesthetics seriously.

You like everything in your life to be unique and beautiful - but never gaudy!

What Font Are You?

apparently mr quiz hadn't noticed.. I'm not afraid of things gaudy :)) but that's ok LOL it says I'm an artiiiiiiist. ;)

Anyway... Nothing exciting here today, lot's of cleaning, need to catch up on work-- you know the same thing every day. It's rather boring here. Oh, in other news (LOL) I got to talk to traci on the phone last night-- she talks a lot btw, I told her 5 minutes and it was nearly 2 hours. She killed my battery LOL. We're going to have a lot of fun when she comes here, every now and then I just heard a traci giggle start bubbling because of the way I said something :P I was tired aight.. LOL. She has a cute lil cali voice.. she sounds a lot younger than I expected her too, but most people do-- unless they sound manly.. that's happened once or twice and it was odd LOL. You know how you always imagine how people talk when you're posting online or whatever, and someone looks like they'd have a really soft dainty voice, and it's deep and booming-- that sorta thing lmao.
Connor of course, woke up- at like 12, and stayed up till like.. 3 (the phone conversation took place somewhere in btwn those hours), he balled when I hung up because he wanted to talk to her.. LOL poor kid. I TRIED, he refused. He'll get to talk to her soon enough :p

Anywayz.. Connor is colouring dino pics for me now, and then we're going to get going on his room again (oye). Wish me luck today LMAO.

*muah*
La

holy CRAP!

2008-08-29T15:00:00.004-04:00

LOL I just keep saying holy crap over and over... So in short, Connor has been "cleaning" his room for TWO days. Basically it was a disaster, and I told him to take it little by little, throw away any toys he didnt' want, throw away any paper that was on the floor (he tends to just huck all his art work t here instead of neatly put away in his desk-- you know, typical kid LOL), and of course he had the task of re-organizing all his toy bins. While yes, I do understand this was a HUGE task to just hand to a 4.5 yr old-- tbh I'm tired of doing it for him and him messing it up again (like any mother) SO I basically just wanted to let HIM organize his toys as HE wanted to. He's really really good about his bins (they're separated by toy) so I Figured this would be ok- and like I said, I told him to take his time, and he really was doing great. He loves doing chores, and having free reign of his room made him feel a lil.. I dunno, grown up or something.

Anywayz, as of last night- it was still horrid. He had basically STUFFED his tent full of crap instead of finding the appropriate place for it. So today, I Told him he had to empty his tent out and put things where they belong..... Apparently, in connor's world.. that means empty the closet too, and then just THROW everything ON TOP of the tent- he also made a secondary pile on top of his desk instead of again, putting things where they belong.

So I give you... connor's mountain (the boxes were in his closet)

holy friggin shiz kid!!! LOL the photos don't even do the mountain justice.. but you can see some things poking out that are indicators of the size-- like.. the fan, and the fact that his tent is actually pretty large (well it's a single person tent-- but it's still pretty big- and the rods are prolly snapped now with all this weight on it).

I had to walk out LOL.. and I walked back in with the camera... and this was ce's response to my reaction hahaha

Oye............................. so, lesson learned. NEVER ever ever ever leave a 4.5 yr old completely in charge of their room. bwahahah

2008-08-28T14:43:00.004-04:00

I don't even know you... you won't even know I'm gone... la de da de da di do.. LOL yeh, I'm still listening to roses. I don't even know why :)) I just love it. I don't have anything exciting to write at all, but opened blogger because I saw Traci's blog train post for today. I'm kinda in a mood (well that's putting it lightly)- and not really chatty. Yesterday was wednesday-- and we know what wednesdays mean...(daddy visit). So I'm still reeling a little, and then I woke up this morning all sick and crap. Not nice. Connor is actually in a mostly pleasant mood, so that's good. He's usually an absolute TERROR after a visit, but he's just leaving me alone today haha. I don't mind it. Actually, he's a bit of a goober. He's sitting in my laundry basket, which he placed one one of my end tables, eating pumpkin seeds and looking out the window. He's happy though, that's all that matters right :P I randomly started a kit, just now. It's of course fluffy since I'm grumpy. We'll see.... I'm almost TOO grumpy to even be fluffy. Roses Roses gone.. Roses Roses sold out.... sell my kicks for one more low tar (lol oh how I could use a smoke right now- 2 months in a few days :) woo me LOL I would like to you know, not think about it anymore and have my lung capacity back and what not, but we'll get there).
I think, this weekend/next week, I am going to kick the car hunt up a notch. I know being stuck here allllllz the damn time is contributing to my current state of grump. We just can't do this anymore. I want to go to the zoo..... to target.. LOL. Anywhere haha!
See.. I told you. Nothing to talk about. Maybe I'll post again later with something a lil more interesting haha.

truthful tuesdays?

2008-08-26T15:54:00.004-04:00

LOL well.. I dunno how open I'll ever get, but this was a suggestion from miss shawna. That doofy exterior of mine is usually just shielding all the bits I don't really want to talk about. I might give little snips here and there, when my anger has bubbled over usually LOL and god forbid I ever actually say anything outLOUD. hahaha That one will take a while. So who's with me for truthful tuesdays? I can't really go it alone.. (well I can, since this is well, my blog, and truthfully I am talking to myself.)

So let's start with something that a good number of people know about, but on the same hand I refuse to publicly talk about.
My version of the truth: I am fat and will always BE fat
The real Truth: I am doing GREAT and have lost 27.6 lbs so far.

The secret to my weight loss? Having my husband leave me, pumpkin seeds, Billy Banks and luna bars hahaha. I have those 4 to thank for my success thus far. I have the first to thank for why I got so big to begin with (and myself of course, we can not put all the blame on the man can we? ) Depressed, not caring about anything anymore, whatever you want to call it I was there. I am never going back there either. Ever.

I decided to actually take shawna up on her truthful tuesdays today because I woke up, got dressed and all that rarahrah.. looked in the mirror, and for the first time, in a really really long time, I felt good about myself. Now, I am still fat- I know it's a dirty word- but I have come so far. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally (here comes the gay talk) and I actually am proud of myself on some level. I keep telling people that I want the old la back.. the la from 5 years ago before I started down this path...... but you know what, I don't really want her back. The new la, is going to be 10 times stronger than her... THAT old la, lead me down that path, she obviously wasn't as great as I seem to think she was ;) I can't wait (I know I have to LOL) till I am fully past this phase of my life and I can look back and say damn.. I DID it, I did it on my own and I did it WELL. :)

I know this isn't like earth shattering La truths.... haha, but it's a truth in myself that I need to accept and realize, and those truly are the most important now aren't they ;) I'm a ways off from my FINAL goal still, but I'm 18lbs away from my first goal- and that sounds great :)

2008-08-25T22:55:00.004-04:00

so I really am going to try to post on here as much as possible.. LOL who knows, I might post something relevant once in a while haha. Connor and I spent most of the day cleaning (well, fighting). I've started planning out how I'm going to transform this ho-hum wood panelled horror of an apartment into something liveable - I moved a few things around in the living room (LOL it's pretty small there's not a lot of wiggle room), and I'm shopping for a new compact cute desk (maybe like one of those glass metal combo desks? something other than wood that's all I know at this point), and I'm going to paint some furniture.. get some fabric, make some long curtains, make some pillows.. you know little things that won't break the bank (LOL well the desk isn't little, but I really need a new one). Connor's job of course was cleaning his room-- which was where the fighting came in. I've decided this whole "I'm almost 5" attitude totally blows LOL. I've been really spoiled up until this point with a sweet gentle kid- I don't know who he is anymore LOL. I'm told he'll calm down by the time he's.. 10. At least I won't have to deal with a teen girl right??? LOL. Teen girls will kill ya. He did eventually clean.. at dinner time. It was a long LONG day..
I snapped some pics of him, during one of the few moments he wasn't screaming at me-- they totally crack me up. He's SUCH a poser, he seriously stood in each of these positions just waiting for the camera to be ready.. I wish I had taken better pics, or had him move over or something cause they're so goofy (well to me.. knowing how the situation went down LOL). I also love them because they show off his weirdo style well LOL. His dad always gives me strange looks (well.. that's putting it nicely) when he sees what Connor is wearing.. but it's alllllllllllllllllllll the kiddo. I like that he has his own little way of expressing himself- and hey, he sorta matches.. he just likes clashy patterns LOL (ps his shorts ARE on backwards though, this is a favorite, and I'm not really sure why) He usually has a few more layers going on, but he decided just a sweatshirt was enough for today.

ps ignore the huge wet spot on his shirt, the boy does not know how to take a drink properly apparently.

I have no idea on this one LMAO.. attack of the crazy boy this is his "woooooooooooooooooah dude" face

I don't know what this was supposed to be.. LOL tough guy or something. Ignore the crap on the counter, I told you we were cleaning LOL-- oh and the broom behind him haha

*sigh* I can't believe how big he's getting.. He doesn't look like a baby at all anymore.

as promised...

2008-08-24T20:11:00.004-04:00

so most of you know about my great love for miss audrey hepburn.. well there you have it, LOL she lives on my fridge haha. I thought she was a nice contrast to the green nails lmao. I have like this secret (well not so secret) other side of me who wants to be all glamorous, and well, be audrey. Unfortunately my love for things like green nail polish and shiny plastic little girl crap makes it a little difficult. One day I'll have the perfect blend of audrey + whatever you want to call the other half of me. It's too bad.. LOL I hacked off my wrist in this pic, it would have added to the clash. Connor and I made "matching" plastic bead & gimp bracelets.. mine is pink and purple-- super hot haha.
Anywayz.. about the nails.... This is prolly a bit darker than it should be, I put like 5 coats. Now, yes I am insane, but there was a reason for it. The nail polish is a bit weird.. like it didn't have that "shiny" look to it kwim, of course I am out of clear and that would have solved the problem instantly... so anyway.. rarah.. yes, lots of layers of green.. it's really a little bit lighter/brighter than this, but since I DID promise a pic...... there you have it. Now .. back to work :)

*muah*

La

Okaaaaaay..

2008-08-24T18:14:00.004-04:00

LOL woot. It's not perfect, but I am so done for now. I am way spoiled by wordpress I think :)) I just wanted something quick and easy for my personal bloggie instead of dealing with all those database issues I have with my site.. but nooooooooooooooooooo LMAO.

Anywayz, now I have a new place to ramble on endlessly. Since I will only post my previews/store stuff on the team blog- I can babble about whatever I feel like here right ? :) LOL we'll see. I need to go find some peeps to add to my "blogs I read list". While I do love shawna, and her blog is the most important, I look like I have no friends now :)) My team is listed on the other bloggie so there's no need to link them here too :)) It's dinner time now, so we're going to go do that.. and then I have to wrap up some QT work.. and then..... well I have no idea what comes after that LOL. Spacing out.. dreaming of Leo.. watching blood diamond again (Megan IS the best btw, I still can't believe she sent me that LOL) oh and I have to take a pic of my green nails for everyone, LOL cant' forget that bwahaha.

OK Laterz
*muah*
La