I'm aliveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

alive i tell you!
really.. I just spent 3 minutes (oh the horror.. haha a whole 3 minutes) trying to figure out my password, so I may as well post something :p
but I have nothing to say
so..
i bid you ado
again
-la.. the loony bird.

why do I even have a blog..

pffsht.. lol I never post anyway. Things have just been the same.. crazy. Trying to find the balance- still. Failing miserably at it- still. You know, the usual. I'm really really hoping I have some good news to post about soon. I promise a big long drawn out typical La babble post when I get the word.. Right now things are still just up in the air. I'm feeling a little disappointed, but I'm trying to learn not to spazz and blow crap up till I know for certain. But that's hard to do. I never ever get my hopes up about anything, and I totally let myself do so.. so it's been a bit hard to just sit back and wait and let things take their course. I have no control over the situation, so it's a waste of time (so I'm told haha) to worry about it all.
Connor is starting school in a few weeks -finally hahaha. It's going to be SO great for him, and for me. I could totally use the break in the routine etc. I keep telling people how funny it is, a year ago.. I was totally not ready. He has a late bday so he obviously gets bumped to this year. Now, now I can't WAIT for him to start. He's going to have so much fun, and be around kids. Excellent really. I am sure he's bored here at home hanging out with me all day. I'm not exactly you know.. super awesome in the kid entertainment department. :p
I'm getting distracted writing this.. I just installed tweetdeck yesterday- and it keeps chirping at me. so of course I have to go see what is going on. Yes.. La.. focus. You can't even focus on a silly blog post! sheesh haha. Speaking of focus, I've been designing like mad lately, trying to at least keep that going. Designing is SUCH a great outlet for me.. and my last few products have been a lot more........ me friendly. I don't even know how else to say that LOL.. I've just been putting a lot more into it instead of just the cute doodlie stuff.. It's good for me and I am so so lucky to get to work in this field and support my lil family doing something I enjoy so so much. Of course, that doesn't stop me from getting all super frustrated and yelling at crap sometimes LOL but.. hey, it's all good. I'm not posting kit previews here, cause that's what the team bloggie is for.. but since I haven't updated in a monnnnnth+ here are a couple of my most recent fav layouts (ok.. I think I made all of these within the past week, but whateverz.. this post would be a mile long if I posted all of them)

credits: **new 8/1** (that's tomorrow folks! eee)
Clarity by Lauren Reid (she's awesome, everyone should love her.. k? :] )

credits: **new 8/1** One step closer by.. yours truley :]

credits: My Way by Lauren Reid & Lauren Grier (meee lol)

credits: At the bus stop .. by me :]

Anyway.. that's it for now. Like I said, hopefully I have something super awesome to post about sooooon. We'll see :]
*muah*
La

pet help!

so ce wants *another* pet.. yes yes.. we just got yoda what.. a month ago? Well really what ce wants is a dog- but he knows we can't have one right now. I promised him a while ago that when we had a house & a yard I'd get him a dog.......... this may never happen ^_^ but, that was the deal.
So anyway.. we had to go to the pet store to get fresh carpeting for yodas tank.. and as usual ce oogled at all the animals. I am not opposed to getting another pet but.. merh.. I dunno. I mean we have the cat- which makes things slightly difficult. While he's fat and lazy and never bothered the fish, and hasn't given a diddly about yoda.. I'm still a bit weary. He could suddenly one day decide he's a ninja cat I dunno LOL.
Then of course... I don't want a pet that is going to die in a year. I'm not into those replaceable animals.. I mean, they're cute and all but........ are there any little fuzzy things that last more than 1-3 years (I'm talking the mice, gerbils, hamsters etc.. I've never had one as a pet so I haven't a clue). I'm pretty sure they all have pretty pathetic life spans. Not my cup of tea.
He also expressed interest in birds................. >< I dunno if I can do birds. We had birds growing up.. and my mom has about 62346 now (really.. I have no idea how many.. but there are like 4 cages with multiple birds in each, plus a parrot.). I dunno if I want to hear chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp all day.. I already have to listen to the crickets for yoda and birds are louder haha... So...... maybe not. Plus.. bird + Cat..... no bueno.
I have a feeling we're goign to end up with another herp... of some sort.. snake frog.. another lizard.. but I dunno. The little hamsters were so cute, I just wish they lived longer.
Oh and I hate ferrets. a lot. so no one even think about suggesting those things lmao.
Am I forgetting anything?? I also don't want a 2nd cat. no.
so..
yeh..
this is really babbly sorry haha
If you read through all of this.. and understood any of it.. thank you. Tell me about yer pets.. and give me some suggestions here peeps.. I'm relying on you haha.

what's going on in la's world?

lol this seriously just cracked me up.. I was going to write about shawna, and found this best friend icon-- and it's amusing, cause shawna thinks I'm a giant.. cause you know, she's a teeny tiny person LOL. Anyway..... Of course, we all received the greatest news this week... miss shawna is 100% cancer free!! Awesomeness.. relief.. joy.. everything all rolled into one. Best news of the century. When she's all recovered, I'm sooo flying her out here so we can celebrate :] I miss her.. it's been way too long since I've seen her last!

I also got onto miss Lauren Reid's CT - eeee also fabulous. I've really been wanting to scrap more lately, so this was the perfect opportunity. I've already made a few pages with her goodies (which are fantastic of course).
click for credits





There's another page but I can't show you yet :p Next blog post lol.. but I adore her stuffz.. it's so fun to be on her CT. It's been a while since I've been on one. Good for the mojo and what not.

Today is also mothers day of course.. just chillin with the kidlet- well, he's chillin, I'm in here messing with things lol, but it's all good. This is officially my 2nd mothers day as a "single mom", it's a little weird tbh, but totally worth it. I do however kinda hate that term.. "single mom", it makes me feel diseased. Like you don't call other moms "married moms" or.. "attached moms", LOL you know, it's just odd. but it is what it is. We're rockin it ;)

Hm.. what else. I'm doing a bit better today than I was the past couple of days. That whole angry roar I'm running away from the world La just isn't going to be allowed to dominate. You have to grab hold of your happiness, and fight for it. That's what it boils down to. I'm still working on convincing myself of that.. LOL.. but we'll get there. I'm not going to let people hold me down.. no way, no how. Bugger off. :]

I love my best friend..

So anyone reading my blog, undoubtedly knows what's going on with my bff Shawna (if for some reason you don't... check out her bloggie.. she'll explain everything there way better than I'm about to). Recently shawna's dr discovered that her thyroid was enlarged. After lots of testing, u/s's and a biopsy etc, they concluded that it was probably thyroid cancer. Today, just now actually.. Shawna is leaving for the hospital to have a thyroidectomy (thank you google for helping with my terrible spelling skillz).. where they will be removing at least half of her thyroid- from what shawna tells me, they are taking out half.. and then poking at the mass (very technical here), and will determine at that point while they're still in there if they have to remove the whole thing.
So.. she's obviously nervous, anxious, whatever you want to call it..she barely slept last night... and while she should be the complete focus right now as she was leaving she said "don't stress too much today k?" Either she's a crack pot (lol I'm kidding love), or she is just the kindest soul around. Through all of this, she has continously been putting everyone else first. Worrying how other people are dealing with it, worried that it's too much for people to process.. she's pretty amazing- that even during a time when she's completely allowed to freak out, she pauses.. and makes sure everyone else is ok. Even the day she found out & told me, she was more worried about how I was reacting. Now of course, I did tweak out.. but I know now that even though the C word is the devil, this may really be a good thing in the end. Shawna's thyroid seems to actually be more evil than cancer in the grande scheme of things, and taking it out may just set everything back to normal for her. That is the end goal, that is what she needs. So you focus on that instead.
So... today I'll be hanging out with my phone, waiting for word on how the surgery went and what not. I know she'll be fine though :] She's a strong little cookie deep inside there... :]

ps yes that is totally a pb&j sandwich :p I love you shawna <3 *muah*

don't be so quick to judge

that's the lesson I learned yesterday. surprisingly, to me anyway, I really enjoyed this whole tennis bit. now, I suck.. it was after all the first time I've ever attempted to play.. but really I had a ton of fun. Hopefully after a few more rounds of practicing I will stop zinging the ball out of the court or over the fence ^_^ ... my brother insists I didn't do thaaaaaat poorly, but..... I def wasn't a rock star or anything. I much prefer this to the whole running bit though. Especially since ce "played" with us.. we bought him his own racket which he used a few times, but mostly he was just running around the court retrieving all the balls I sent askew (which is nice btw.. having someone else chasing them for you lol). Good thing we brought 6 balls with us :p I hope we can go again today.. it's supposed to rain most of the day, but as long as it sticks to an inconsistent drizzle I don't care. A little rain never did hurt anyone.. it's that lightening shizz you have to watch out for :p Of course, tomorrow my brother is going on a 10 day trip with my dad.. so I dunno, maybe I'll practice whacking a tennis ball at a fence while he's gone or something. He's all gung-ho about us doing stuff to get in shape (be it the running or this) but he tends to disappear for weeks on end :p lol.. it makes things a tad complicated. His girlfriend lives in maine so it's usually because of trek's up there.. and then he doesn't feel like coming home lol. Aaah the young love it is. They're quite gay and .. barf inducing. She called him like.. 4? times while we were out yesterday haha.. I couldn't stop laughing. He just got back from there a few days ago.. this time though he's going to FL and then TX with my dad.. visiting peeps or something, I have no idea. I don't really pay that much attention :p

you want me to do what?

So it seems, my brothers mission in life currently, is to find some activity that we can do together on a regular basis. At first, it was the running.. but btwn issues with connor, my knees, and my brother's asthma.. the running has been stop and go for weeks now. Now.. now he wants me to take up tennis. Tennis?? I've never played tennis! Nor had he, till a few weeks ago.. but he has decided, this is what our next adventure shall be. So today we're going shopping to find me a racket.. I have no idea why we are doing this. I've never had the slightest interest in playing tennis :p I don't even know how to play.. Other than you know, whack the ball. It will be interesting to say the least. It is great, that he wants to do these things.. on a brother sister level, and on a La still has weight to lose level- but, I dunno.. Tennis?!?! lol. That's all I keep saying. Out of all the ideas he could have come up with (say.. I dunno.. bike riding instead of running? ) He picked this. Hopefully it goes well, we shall see I guess. I'm fully expecting to hurt myself after 1 try though, this is typically how things go with me. I've got a banged up body :p

In other news.... equally exciting of course, I bought new curtains. They are hot. I'm kinda excited.. All the years living with my ex, I never got to decorate anything. I have all sorts of mixmatched (mostly hand me down) furniture.. nothing coordinates.. everything is blah. So, over the next few months I'm going to set aside time to play with some fabric and paint ^_^ I can't paint the walls.. but I am going to paint all my furniture for sure :p It will be good for me.. and fun, and all that jazz. I just want this place to feel like it's MINE finally. Then.. after I'm done all that, we'll probably move haha.. but that's ok. Well we NEED to move, I'm just blah on that front atm. So yes............. this was a very boring blog post. I've apparently lost my ability to ramble on end. They're getting shorter and shorter.