I hate imitation meat..

I also hate explaining things to people IRL. Even if it's just three people in a room, it's public speaking to me and I get all shaky and nervous- especially if it's people who I care what they think about me. I was just thinking about this randomly now. It's not that I am embarrassed by my opinions, or don't stand firmly in them-I am just really self conscious about the way I say things, the way I speak in general, and obviously when you get nervous you have a difficult time getting your point across. What does this have to do with imitation meat??
Well a few months ago I was at my "aunts" (she was my moms best friend in highschool).. I generally refuse to eat anything while I am there (another weirdo issue of mine- I don't like to eat im front of most people), so amy (her daughter- we grew up together) was going through the fridge trying to find something I would eat. You see, she was a veg too, for like 9 years, but she suddenly started eating poultry again in the past year or so- her choice. Anyway.. she pulls out some fake imitation turkey sandwich meat. If you've never had the pleasure of seeing/tasting this stuff- it is disgusting. It looks like rotting meat, it's this purple-grey colour...... just all around bad. So I told her as such and that I couldn't eat that-- to which of course I got the standard response of "this is the OPPOSITE of that la it's healthy"..which was quickly followed by the "why are you a veg anyway". I look across the tiny table I'm sitting at in the kitchen and see matt sitting there (her brother), amy is standing above me with this look on her face waiting for me to answer.. my aunt was across the room.... I couldn't get anything out. I put my head on the table and just moaned that I like animals and don't want to eat them.
WHAT?!!??!
that's the best I could come up with. I like animals (yes say it in the DOOFIEST voice you can). I've been a veg for almost 4 years (I was a veg prior as well, but pregnancy apparently forces you to throw all your ideals out the window LOL). In all this time ALL I could come up with is I like animals?!? God forbid anyone ever ask me my opinion on something serious IRL. I'll probably just mumble at them until they go away.
I thought about (seriously, this moment nags me :)) because I think my response was more embarrassing than any explanation I could have given) typing out a huge essay (haha) about why I am a veg and sending it to her, but that would just be totally silly- and I need to let things go. Really what I need to do is learn not to be afraid to speak up around people. Sometimes I'm fine...... When I'm alone with my aunt on our walks- I'll scream my opinions to the sky ;) We had a big political conversation the other day-- every once in a while I start trying to slip back into my shell and say stupid silly things that really are entirely irrelevant though of course. It's just a confidence/comfort issue... something on the long list of crap I need to buck up about LOL.
I don't even know WHY I Was thinking about this today.... I did do similar to traci on the phone though, we started talking about something political and instead of stating my point I just growled a few times... and then said I wasn't talking about it. I prefer typing things.. then I Can go back and delete the stupid crap I say ;) There's actually a HUGE list of things I "avoid speaking about" but to sum them up into little tiny categories 1) being a veg 2) politics 3) feelings LOL 4) anything of significant importance to my life :p I'll talk to you about anything else.. bwahahaha