cleaning? what on earth is that?!

Photo Day 3 :] My favorite lil brush.. which is still sitting there waiting for me. Kidlet just ran in & saw the pic and said moooom that's still sitting int he bathroom! LOL.. isn't it cute.. I should probably put it to use LOL. I've been avoiding a good scrub down of the house.. it really really needs it, but it seems like so much work :p So I'll just admire my cute scrubby brush for the moment. I use to be like, ridiculously anal about cleaning.. somewhere along the lines I got lazy and just don't have the energy anymore *laughs*
Today is a much better day than yesterday.. thank you so much for all the kind comments :] I mean, I'll still suck.. but I dunno, I woke up this morning and smiled, because damnit I don't NEED to be perfect :p I'm embracing my imperfections today.. including sucking at cleaning lol. I'm also back on my cloud- :p - so that helps significantly. Positive gay weird la is way more fun than cranky down in the dumps la any day- even if she is slightly annoying ;)
So.. I'm off to actually straighten up things.. and stop poking around on facebook, at least for a little bit. FB is way too addicting for a nosey person like me LOL I love reading everyone's lil status messages.. and leaving randomness everywhere I go. tis fun I tell ya.. facebook is genious ;)
That's all for now.. I may come back with a cleaning status update LOL. We shall see :]


Day 2- and more randomness :]

So day 2 is upon us.. I figured this was the perfect pic for today as I sat here looking at my phone still blinking reminding me that I'm way behind today. It isn't just that I refused to wake up this morning, everything is off :p It'd rock if I started acting like a grown up and got out of bed at a normal hour- 830a is already "late" and I didn't get my butt up till prolly 1030a. Not that I'm really complaining about that, I like sleeping in.. but it's just magnifying my sucktitude today (sorry shawna LOL).
Poor shawna had to listen to me ranting about being a crapfastic mom (and other things that bloggie doesn't need to hear).. I just feel like I've been putting on a show this past year. Everyone thinks I've been rocking this whole single mom thing, but I swear each day that goes by I am a little less sure on myself. There's the whole balance stuff, which I've babbled about in random journaling- that's normal- something every mom single or not has to deal with..... but the other crap, blargh. It nags at me because, while my ex dh was trying to just take one last dig @ me before he left.. he said something like he hoped his leaving would make me "well enough to be a good mom".. like I was some sort of cracked out suckfest or something. I thought I was a rocking mom before he left, I fought tooth and nail for my kid... life was tough then for sure, and yeh yeh... things are better for Connor now, things are more stable in my home at least, we're moving more positively etc........ but, I don't know. Stupid stuff, like not playing with him enough, not reading to him enough, forgetting to make him brush his teeth-- things I should be fully capable of staying on top of no matter what :p Shawna says we're just finding the healthy balance now.. that before- Ce was my EVERYTHING.. that it was too much.. I've heard that from other people too, to the point of people telling me that the kid and I were smothering each other.. but you can't just turn it off and go in the complete opposite direction. I dunno.....
so yeh.. this is making no sense LOL. There's like a ton of other stuff going on that is clouding my head and making it ridiculously impossible to get one stinkin thought out clearly today :p

But all in all. I'm off. I'm a step behind.. and I think I missed my wake up call.. on so many things.

Peace out.


Project 365- and randomness

So.. @ ssd we're starting up project 365 photo a day etc etc. I take pics most days as is, but this is a lil extra motivator to capture the year in photos :] I'm hoping as well this will inspire me to take pics other than just of the kidlet & I -- and perhaps get a little better with the whole, taking pics in general too haha. I'm not what you'd call.. a stellar photographer, as shall be noted by my first photo :p

So here she be.. my first photo-- and first lessons of 2009. "chucks" really really are not suitable snow wear. I love these shoes though. I'll spare my dear bloggie here the nike rant today though ;) lol and second of course.. is that I'm almost 27 yrs old and really should know how to properly tie my shoes :p and that you know.. the laces should go OVER the tongue of the shoe :p that might be asking a lil too much though.

So there's my feet... Photo #1 :] Hopefully I remember to do every day! lol.. It will be fun :]

Randomness now.....I'm sooooo super excited about a few things on my resolutions list. Especially the school one. I can't stop talking about it to anyone who will listen LOL. I've been wanting to do this forever, as some of you know- I started talking about it last year but life got ahead of me. I'm hoping eventually to focus on herpetology.. which would be my dreaaaaam. I don't know exactly where I'd go from there, research or something.. but I'm stoked. Kidlet and I talked about it today too LOL he is fascinated by the concept of college.. lol. Eeeee! Of course, I have to get through all the other resolutions too. Some of them aren't keeping me too excited :p Especially January right now :p ..... Why did I listen to shawna and keep that one t here :p
and a few more :p :p :p

That's all :] Haappy New year everyone!!!!!!!!!! :]

resolutions.. finalized :]



It's windy outside! very very windy lol.
So last night I was talking to one of my friends about resolutions. He totally rocked this past years resolution.. and is preparing for next years. I've never made any sort of resolution but he inspired me to give it a whack this year. I figure nye is tomorrow.. I might as well get cracking and come up with something good. His new resolution is to quit smoking... completely lol.. and while this should probably be mine too I figured it'd be lame if I just stole his for my first ever. I tried to come up with something cool, I wanted it to be fun but kept coming up with wicked gay ideas. At 3am this morning while staring at the wall wishing I was asleep I came up with something that I thought would work. It has the potential to cover all the boring things.. and some fun things so it could work out.
I decided to break it up so that it'd be easier on miss I lack motivation.. and have decided that once a month.. all year.. I should do something that I want to do, but have been otherwise hesitant or afraid of doing. Little things.. big things.. whatever. For instance I am terrified of trains.. but it would be way easier to go up to boston if I just got on a stupid train instead of having to deal with the annoying traffic (and people on bikes! omg.... I think they may be worse than the cars lol).
So now I just need to come up with 12 things.. I'm not sure if I should think them up all at once, or come up with a new idea each month.. we'll see. Maybe just come up with 3 month plans.. January do something fun that I weenied out of last week (yeh that was purposely vague lol), February maybe I can take the train.. March I can get that first tattoo I want (ok I really really do want to do this in march.. but I'm afraid I will weenie out .. again lol.. what better way to utilize my new resolution lol).
We'll see how it goes.. but I think it could totally rock ;)