I'm aliveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

alive i tell you!
really.. I just spent 3 minutes (oh the horror.. haha a whole 3 minutes) trying to figure out my password, so I may as well post something :p
but I have nothing to say
i bid you ado
-la.. the loony bird.


why do I even have a blog..

pffsht.. lol I never post anyway. Things have just been the same.. crazy. Trying to find the balance- still. Failing miserably at it- still. You know, the usual. I'm really really hoping I have some good news to post about soon. I promise a big long drawn out typical La babble post when I get the word.. Right now things are still just up in the air. I'm feeling a little disappointed, but I'm trying to learn not to spazz and blow crap up till I know for certain. But that's hard to do. I never ever get my hopes up about anything, and I totally let myself do so.. so it's been a bit hard to just sit back and wait and let things take their course. I have no control over the situation, so it's a waste of time (so I'm told haha) to worry about it all.
Connor is starting school in a few weeks -finally hahaha. It's going to be SO great for him, and for me. I could totally use the break in the routine etc. I keep telling people how funny it is, a year ago.. I was totally not ready. He has a late bday so he obviously gets bumped to this year. Now, now I can't WAIT for him to start. He's going to have so much fun, and be around kids. Excellent really. I am sure he's bored here at home hanging out with me all day. I'm not exactly you know.. super awesome in the kid entertainment department. :p
I'm getting distracted writing this.. I just installed tweetdeck yesterday- and it keeps chirping at me. so of course I have to go see what is going on. Yes.. La.. focus. You can't even focus on a silly blog post! sheesh haha. Speaking of focus, I've been designing like mad lately, trying to at least keep that going. Designing is SUCH a great outlet for me.. and my last few products have been a lot more........ me friendly. I don't even know how else to say that LOL.. I've just been putting a lot more into it instead of just the cute doodlie stuff.. It's good for me and I am so so lucky to get to work in this field and support my lil family doing something I enjoy so so much. Of course, that doesn't stop me from getting all super frustrated and yelling at crap sometimes LOL but.. hey, it's all good. I'm not posting kit previews here, cause that's what the team bloggie is for.. but since I haven't updated in a monnnnnth+ here are a couple of my most recent fav layouts (ok.. I think I made all of these within the past week, but whateverz.. this post would be a mile long if I posted all of them)

credits: **new 8/1** (that's tomorrow folks! eee)
Clarity by Lauren Reid (she's awesome, everyone should love her.. k? :] )

credits: **new 8/1** One step closer by.. yours truley :]

credits: My Way by Lauren Reid & Lauren Grier (meee lol)

credits: At the bus stop .. by me :]

Anyway.. that's it for now. Like I said, hopefully I have something super awesome to post about sooooon. We'll see :]


pet help!

so ce wants *another* pet.. yes yes.. we just got yoda what.. a month ago? Well really what ce wants is a dog- but he knows we can't have one right now. I promised him a while ago that when we had a house & a yard I'd get him a dog.......... this may never happen ^_^ but, that was the deal.
So anyway.. we had to go to the pet store to get fresh carpeting for yodas tank.. and as usual ce oogled at all the animals. I am not opposed to getting another pet but.. merh.. I dunno. I mean we have the cat- which makes things slightly difficult. While he's fat and lazy and never bothered the fish, and hasn't given a diddly about yoda.. I'm still a bit weary. He could suddenly one day decide he's a ninja cat I dunno LOL.
Then of course... I don't want a pet that is going to die in a year. I'm not into those replaceable animals.. I mean, they're cute and all but........ are there any little fuzzy things that last more than 1-3 years (I'm talking the mice, gerbils, hamsters etc.. I've never had one as a pet so I haven't a clue). I'm pretty sure they all have pretty pathetic life spans. Not my cup of tea.
He also expressed interest in birds................. >< I dunno if I can do birds. We had birds growing up.. and my mom has about 62346 now (really.. I have no idea how many.. but there are like 4 cages with multiple birds in each, plus a parrot.). I dunno if I want to hear chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp all day.. I already have to listen to the crickets for yoda and birds are louder haha... So...... maybe not. Plus.. bird + Cat..... no bueno.
I have a feeling we're goign to end up with another herp... of some sort.. snake frog.. another lizard.. but I dunno. The little hamsters were so cute, I just wish they lived longer.
Oh and I hate ferrets. a lot. so no one even think about suggesting those things lmao.
Am I forgetting anything?? I also don't want a 2nd cat. no.
this is really babbly sorry haha
If you read through all of this.. and understood any of it.. thank you. Tell me about yer pets.. and give me some suggestions here peeps.. I'm relying on you haha.


what's going on in la's world?

Myspace Friendship Iconslol this seriously just cracked me up.. I was going to write about shawna, and found this best friend icon-- and it's amusing, cause shawna thinks I'm a giant.. cause you know, she's a teeny tiny person LOL. Anyway..... Of course, we all received the greatest news this week... miss shawna is 100% cancer free!! Awesomeness.. relief.. joy.. everything all rolled into one. Best news of the century. When she's all recovered, I'm sooo flying her out here so we can celebrate :] I miss her.. it's been way too long since I've seen her last!

I also got onto miss Lauren Reid's CT - eeee also fabulous. I've really been wanting to scrap more lately, so this was the perfect opportunity. I've already made a few pages with her goodies (which are fantastic of course).
click for credits

There's another page but I can't show you yet :p Next blog post lol.. but I adore her stuffz.. it's so fun to be on her CT. It's been a while since I've been on one. Good for the mojo and what not.

Today is also mothers day of course.. just chillin with the kidlet- well, he's chillin, I'm in here messing with things lol, but it's all good. This is officially my 2nd mothers day as a "single mom", it's a little weird tbh, but totally worth it. I do however kinda hate that term.. "single mom", it makes me feel diseased. Like you don't call other moms "married moms" or.. "attached moms", LOL you know, it's just odd. but it is what it is. We're rockin it ;)

Hm.. what else. I'm doing a bit better today than I was the past couple of days. That whole angry roar I'm running away from the world La just isn't going to be allowed to dominate. You have to grab hold of your happiness, and fight for it. That's what it boils down to. I'm still working on convincing myself of that.. LOL.. but we'll get there. I'm not going to let people hold me down.. no way, no how. Bugger off. :]


I love my best friend..

So anyone reading my blog, undoubtedly knows what's going on with my bff Shawna (if for some reason you don't... check out her bloggie.. she'll explain everything there way better than I'm about to). Recently shawna's dr discovered that her thyroid was enlarged. After lots of testing, u/s's and a biopsy etc, they concluded that it was probably thyroid cancer. Today, just now actually.. Shawna is leaving for the hospital to have a thyroidectomy (thank you google for helping with my terrible spelling skillz).. where they will be removing at least half of her thyroid- from what shawna tells me, they are taking out half.. and then poking at the mass (very technical here), and will determine at that point while they're still in there if they have to remove the whole thing.
So.. she's obviously nervous, anxious, whatever you want to call it..she barely slept last night... and while she should be the complete focus right now as she was leaving she said "don't stress too much today k?" Either she's a crack pot (lol I'm kidding love), or she is just the kindest soul around. Through all of this, she has continously been putting everyone else first. Worrying how other people are dealing with it, worried that it's too much for people to process.. she's pretty amazing- that even during a time when she's completely allowed to freak out, she pauses.. and makes sure everyone else is ok. Even the day she found out & told me, she was more worried about how I was reacting. Now of course, I did tweak out.. but I know now that even though the C word is the devil, this may really be a good thing in the end. Shawna's thyroid seems to actually be more evil than cancer in the grande scheme of things, and taking it out may just set everything back to normal for her. That is the end goal, that is what she needs. So you focus on that instead.
So... today I'll be hanging out with my phone, waiting for word on how the surgery went and what not. I know she'll be fine though :] She's a strong little cookie deep inside there... :]

ps yes that is totally a pb&j sandwich :p I love you shawna <3 *muah*


don't be so quick to judge

that's the lesson I learned yesterday. surprisingly, to me anyway, I really enjoyed this whole tennis bit. now, I suck.. it was after all the first time I've ever attempted to play.. but really I had a ton of fun. Hopefully after a few more rounds of practicing I will stop zinging the ball out of the court or over the fence ^_^ ... my brother insists I didn't do thaaaaaat poorly, but..... I def wasn't a rock star or anything. I much prefer this to the whole running bit though. Especially since ce "played" with us.. we bought him his own racket which he used a few times, but mostly he was just running around the court retrieving all the balls I sent askew (which is nice btw.. having someone else chasing them for you lol). Good thing we brought 6 balls with us :p I hope we can go again today.. it's supposed to rain most of the day, but as long as it sticks to an inconsistent drizzle I don't care. A little rain never did hurt anyone.. it's that lightening shizz you have to watch out for :p Of course, tomorrow my brother is going on a 10 day trip with my dad.. so I dunno, maybe I'll practice whacking a tennis ball at a fence while he's gone or something. He's all gung-ho about us doing stuff to get in shape (be it the running or this) but he tends to disappear for weeks on end :p lol.. it makes things a tad complicated. His girlfriend lives in maine so it's usually because of trek's up there.. and then he doesn't feel like coming home lol. Aaah the young love it is. They're quite gay and .. barf inducing. She called him like.. 4? times while we were out yesterday haha.. I couldn't stop laughing. He just got back from there a few days ago.. this time though he's going to FL and then TX with my dad.. visiting peeps or something, I have no idea. I don't really pay that much attention :p


you want me to do what?

So it seems, my brothers mission in life currently, is to find some activity that we can do together on a regular basis. At first, it was the running.. but btwn issues with connor, my knees, and my brother's asthma.. the running has been stop and go for weeks now. Now.. now he wants me to take up tennis. Tennis?? I've never played tennis! Nor had he, till a few weeks ago.. but he has decided, this is what our next adventure shall be. So today we're going shopping to find me a racket.. I have no idea why we are doing this. I've never had the slightest interest in playing tennis :p I don't even know how to play.. Other than you know, whack the ball. It will be interesting to say the least. It is great, that he wants to do these things.. on a brother sister level, and on a La still has weight to lose level- but, I dunno.. Tennis?!?! lol. That's all I keep saying. Out of all the ideas he could have come up with (say.. I dunno.. bike riding instead of running? ) He picked this. Hopefully it goes well, we shall see I guess. I'm fully expecting to hurt myself after 1 try though, this is typically how things go with me. I've got a banged up body :p

In other news.... equally exciting of course, I bought new curtains. They are hot. I'm kinda excited.. All the years living with my ex, I never got to decorate anything. I have all sorts of mixmatched (mostly hand me down) furniture.. nothing coordinates.. everything is blah. So, over the next few months I'm going to set aside time to play with some fabric and paint ^_^ I can't paint the walls.. but I am going to paint all my furniture for sure :p It will be good for me.. and fun, and all that jazz. I just want this place to feel like it's MINE finally. Then.. after I'm done all that, we'll probably move haha.. but that's ok. Well we NEED to move, I'm just blah on that front atm. So yes............. this was a very boring blog post. I've apparently lost my ability to ramble on end. They're getting shorter and shorter.


I scrapped a ton on nsd..

lol, apparently nsd was really good for me. I even shopped *gasp*, not a ton, but seeing I barely ever shoppe it was quite the accomplishment :p

I bought a s uper cute kit from miss Kitty Chen & her magical swirls 2 -- they're awesome btw.. so pretty. I actually scrapped more than I intended to because shawna made me ^_^ .. but it was worth it.

first, I must show you all the emu I pimped for robin's little challenge.... usually she does llamas, which you all know I detest, so I was happy to play with an emu instead :p

This is what I, la, would look like as an emu. I even made it's eyes look like mine :p

and my layouts from yesterday :] weee

for the nsd spin a lift chain :]

I lifted melissa's layout here

credits: scrapkitchen - the village market
layered up in you scallops, edges & arrows by me
hearts by me..
michelle coleman stamped alpha

for speed scrap #1
template by meghan

dani mogstad all you need is love

kitty chen wishes & dreams and magical swirls 2
font: DJB see lyle run

arrow- layered up in you arrows by me.. heart, recoloured from my what I want kit.

and that is all folks :p


Blah Blah Blah

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.


This morning, I start the day off moody.. You see, I'm super ridiculously anal about scheduling my day, week, life, whatever. I over plan.. I over analyze, I just like to know when shizz is going to happen and what I need to do to prepare for it k? Except for the rare occasion where my super planning fails me, I'm always early, I'm always ready for anything.. it's how things work around here k? Except.. I have these two people in my life, who are apparently the total opposite of me in this manner. And.. I can't deal with it. At all. If you say "I'll let you know on monday the latest what the plan is" ... I don't expect to wake up on tuesday morning still not knowing if you are coming at all today. The best part is.. because of YOU being incapable of communicating or planning like a human being.. it spills over to person #2- who is also a last minute planner (really last minute.. like.. 10 minutes beforehand, oh yes.. plans are a go.... >< ) you see.. because I don't know if #1 is following through.. I can't even begin to figure out what's going on with #2.. and so.. I will just hide under my desk and pretend the world doesn't exist until SOMEONE FREAKIN TELLS ME WHAT IS GOING ON.
ok I feel better lmao.

So what else.. oh it's disgustingly hot again. Once again, it's going to hit the 90s and it's only april... If I lived in the south, whatever.. but I freakin live in RI.. this is not supposed to happen, and I am not at all pleased. I loath the summer.. LOATH it, and it's already here in freakin april? please shoot me. I'm afraid to think of how hot it's going to get when it's actually summer time. Pfft. I may just melt into a pool of disgusting mush. When we were at the museum yesterday with Pam & Emily.. we saw what 5lbs of fat looks like.. I'd imagine that's what I would turn into, if I melted.. just a giant blob of disgusting fat. Mmmmm yum.

This is a really cranky post. lol


national I'm a jealous monkey day..

ok, this isn't a real one... ^_^ but I AM a jealous monkey. my friend is currently in a plane.. on their way to cali-forn-i-a... picture me totally green with envy. I loove to travel, and haven't been able to for like a year and a half now due to life stuff.. It's making me a bit loony LOL. I hate being stuck in one place .. I want to go go go. Everywhere. I haven't been to Cali since I was 19, I love it there.. I love the entire west coast. Plus, it's going to be gorgeous in cali (when isn't it) and I'm stuck here in gloomy grey weather all week. hmpfh. lol
Ce and I will have to plan a trip this summer or something.. I know we're prolly going to upstate NY for a weekend or something, but I dunno if that will help with my insatiable need to travel. Plus I have to drive there.. and while I do love driving.. 7 hrs with a 5 yr old in a car isn't really fun fun. Last time we went up there, the drive up was fine.. I was smart, and drove over night so he just snoozed (though I had to drive the majority of it in a scary thunderstorm).. the way back though, was horrid. We stopped at Every 30 miles.. mooooooom I have to go to the bathroom. >< ok. fine. lol At least on a plane, if he gets the urge to pee we don't have to stop the travelling to do so. He's a great little flyer though.. It's so much fun with him. The first time he flew, he was just under 2 so he was on my lap- that was unpleasant. One of the flights was overnight and the $#^@##%# in front of me had their seat back allllll the freakin way. Nothing like being pinned with a 2 yr old on your lap for hours. I could barely breathe. I'm kinda glad he requires his own seat now :p at least *I* can be slightly more comfortable lol. So who wants me to come visit? Some where fun.. and you know, you need to be near an ocean somehow. LOL I can't handle central US.. I need costal areas.


Happy National Garlic Day!

(I found this darling lil garlic dude on etsy)

really though.. this is how I am feeling about "garlic day" Bet you thought I was making things up.. No.. no April 19th IS national garlic day.. and someone in my apartment building seems to be really living up the celebration. I live on the 3rd floor.. there are only 6 apartments in my building, so I get my fair share of "smells" lofting up from the neighbors. But, never THIS overpowering. I love garlic as much as the next person sure.. but holy cow. I think she may have soaked her apartment from floor to ceiling in garlic juices or something. It is SO overpowering.. I can barely breathe it in anymore.. even my eyes are watering. So please.. be kind to your neighbors, if you must partake in this holiday.. please do not attempt death by garlic.. enjoy your garlic if you must.. but right now, I'm thinking if I have to smell garlic again anytime soon... I may hurl.


randomness in ze brain

So, I was standing in the kitchen making dinner.. listening to ce having yet another blow up in his room. He had just gotten in trouble for drawing all over my floors. He starts going through the usual routine, I promise to be a good boy, I promise to be a big boy, I promise to not do naughty things anymore, I promise to keep my mommy happy.. on and on. And I started thinking.. about all the other false promises I've received in my life. It seems there have been a lot of them.. why do people promise so many things they can't fulfill? I'm pretty sure that you're born that way.. with this uncontrollable urge to please, so you just spit out any promise you think will satisfy the other person (case and point, my 5 yr old promising things that he will break within the hour). There are the small ones.. like those above.. to the whopper ones from adults- you know, the I promise to love you forever, I promise there's no one else, I promise to love honour and respect you till death do us part.. and my favorite .. I don't believe in divorce, I promise to never leave you. I know I'm guilty of them sometimes too.. this isn't a I hate men post (though I'm feeling particularly cynical at this moment in time).. Why do we do this? and furthermore.. why do we accept promises that we know there's no way that the other person can be sure to keep? I know.. sometimes.. those till death do us part things do work out, and I'm not upset that that was one of those promises in my life that I was let down on- I came to terms with the path my life took long ago now- but I believed it then... and I am tired of believing and being let down. I think I need to make it a point from here on out to request no one promise me anything anymore :p lest I truly become that cranky bitter cat woman in the future. I have so little hope and faith in people it's disgusting to me. I want to believe people when they say.... they promise they'd never hurt me, and that they'd be the first person to kick their own a** if they were ever a certain way to me.. but I don't really anymore. I am always expecting the people in my life to turn out like everyone else I've dealt with in the past- which is unfair to them of course. I go round and round (as my close friends can attest to, it's tiring) I'll be high on a cloud, and then the next day I've crashed back down assuming everyone is evil. That's no way to live.. NOT everyone is evil. My kid certainly isn't evil for promising he won't be a bad boy.. and neither are the other people in my life who promise to stick around through it all. I don't know.. That was the extent of my thoughts.
/cranky la rantings.


posting twice in a month..

I think that marks an improvement. sorta. I'm officially 27, well I have been for a few days. It's not really that exciting. I'd been dreading this birthday, just like I dreaded the last one, and will dread the next one. So what, I don't like getting older- I'm sorry if that offends you (lol.. can you tell I'm tired of being teased about this?). You see, last year, my husband had just left a few weeks prior.. this year, well I'm heading into the divorce, a single mom to a 5 yr old.. and 2freakin7.. and next year, well next year I will be 28- and I dunno. Things are just weird and I don't deal well with things I can't control ok????? ^_^ I'm totally giggling writing this. I know it's not a big deal- it's just.. well, it's not the way I thought things would turn out, but life never is really right? Most of the people I went to HS with are either a) already settled down in their lives, with their white picket fences, and 2.5 kids.. or b) they're recently engaged/married and life is all puppy dogs and rainbows for them. BTDT, well not the puppy dogs and rainbows part.. I've just been "off" with my old friends for years now.. Now that I'm here, out there in the world again (granted, I still have the kid part) they're finally catching up to where I was 5-6 years ago and we still don't have much of anythign in common. It's weird ok! I know, I need new friends ... lol. By the time my friends have kids connor will be like.. 15- watch. you'll see. then they'll be asking my kid to babysit their kids so they can go out. Where were they when I wanted to go out? oh yeh... I forgot, they were too busy being young... haha. I wouldn't trade connor for the world, it's just funny how life works out sometimes. I have been able to get out a little more lately, which is nice. Usually like once a week I get to drive out and have some non kid related time- I thoroughly enjoy these moments :p It had been a long time since I had been able to do anything for ME. I like it :p But yeh.. 27 dude. Creeping closer and closer to 30. Actually everyone's ages this year are creeping me out.. 28.. two people just turned 28, my brother is turning 24 (what the crap?!), connor will be 6 this year.. just woah. Enough about that though... my team is awesome btw- did I say that yet, no. They are SO freakin sweet. I was already riding high the morning of my birthday, but then they made it all that much sweeter later. seriously....... I love them :] the whole lot of them.
I am eating the most amazing lunch atm.. asian noodles with soy ginger sauce, veggies & sesame seeds. Seriously.. I rock, be jealous. I'm going to go finish it now and stop typing :p haha.
love la


Am I ... blogging? *gasp* the world is ending!

I'm such an awful blogger... and I gave up on proj 365, I take piccies all the time but keeping up with it was just too much lol. My life is a combination of too busy and too boring- not great for things like 365.
So quick update on life.. hm. Some things are stressing me out to the max.. some things are making me incredibly happy <3 kidlet is crazy hyper and keeps me on my toes.. you know the usual. He actually just spent the last 20 minutes dissecting/killing ants... mmm fun times. Yeh we have ants again, why .. is beyond me. The kitchen is clean, and we live in a 3rd floor apartment.. but apparently these ants thought it would be a killah party up here.. i dunno, I don't see the excitement in meeting your demise c/o a 5 yr old boy- but whatever floats your boat ants lol.
My hair .. is incredibly sad right now. (see I told you my life is particularly boring- but I do like to talk about my hair so deal lol). It still needs to be cut, and I need to figure out this colour issue. I have some things coming up in my life that uhm.. well pink hair wouldn't mesh too well with. The pink is all faded out at this point, and it's a very odd mix of the drk brown and various shades of yellow. Super hot.. I may just leave it like this for now, I can clip it back in certain ways to make it not look so freaking weird.
Speaking of hair clippies-- I loove them-- and my favorite site evah Shana Logic has theee cutests hair clippies! I adore them.. here are a few of my favorites.. I won't show you everything on the site ^_^ I promise..

aren't those all freakin adorable? Ok that was a lot of them.. but still.. I love them all. I'm totally in a clippie phase. I went through a head band phase when my hair was a bit shorter.. now we're onto these. I have some darling bows (they ARE darling :p I am not 5), and some gemmie clips.. and a rainbow clip.. I just <3 them :]

Well I suppose I need to stop writing now because I just turned to look at kidlet and noticed he's drawing all over himself- again. At least it's orange and purple this time and not black. Black marker is incredibly difficult to get off - in case you were wondering :p

peace out peeps :]


365 catch up..

So.. I'm thinking it may just be easier for me to post my pics once a week :p I'm OBVIOUSLY incapable of doing it every day LMAO. I also apparently started labeling my piccies.. erm.. dunno why I randomly started doing that. whateverz. Makes it all seem more organized or some shizz.

1/11/09 was laundry day.. really.. that was the excitement of the day. Actually.. the more exciting part was that I actually folded it right away ^_^


11/12/09 yeezz I dyed my hair.. since I was just whining about how ick the faded colour looked. the funny thing is, that when I did it.. it actually came out purpley for once (which didn't last.. as you will see from the pic from the next day). whateverz. I wicked need a hair cut.. I also realized this while fixing the colour..

11/13/09 working hard or hardly working? I think the latter... I was grumpy for whatever reason.. and blotchy apparently... & majorly struggling to get motivated. I have this major brain malfunction and can't work on monday & tuesday (well I try, but not very successfully). As you can see.. I was majorly distracted :p I zoomed in and was talking to 6 people and on SSD.. oops. ^_^ Oh yes.. and here is the erm.. weird colour. It's faded to a real pink by this point now .. but.. well.. this pic is from tuesday, and I am catching up :p


11/14/09 THE.MOST.ANNOYING.TOY.ON.THE.PLANET. gr. So Ce frequently comes home from his dad with new.. stuff. This time.. he brought home this stupid iron man toy. Which ce keeps hitting the button on repeatedly. Wed night.. I was seriously contemplating hucking it out the window after hearing "I am iron man" "deflect their blasts" 50000000000000000000 times.


11/15/09 Now, I should have taken a pic of my fizzster notebook the day I wrote her her letter.. but.. well I didn't. LOL. I took one friday though because I was majorly doodling in it, and no.. I am not showing you my doodles. Fizzster can attest to the fact that seriously.. no one needs to see what happens when I'm bored. I drew her like this creepy nurse thing.. and other stuff that my blog doesn't want to hear about :p specifically.. THAT stuff.. that doesnt' go here.. was what was drawn all in my notebook on friday. I opened it up just now .. and laughed hysterically wondering wth is wrong with me. I may not be allowed to touch pen and paper again. really. the whole page fizzster.. in big letters.. and other gay stuff. *woah*
Oh.. wow.. I babbled. Also my nailpolish with rainbowy glitter.. <3 cause I was doing my nails LOL... EXCITING.

11/16/09 haha I almost skipped over this day. Anyway.. Last night, I was wicked annoyed. All I wanted was quiet.. and all ce wanted was to work on addition on his lil star wars computer. Nothing was cooperating.. my head was about to explode.. my oven was being slow.. and all I kept hearing was "mom.. what's 1 plus 9.. is it 6?" no connor.. no it's not 6.. think and figure it out.. " 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 is it 10?!" yes connor.. " MOOOOOOM where's the 10 on the keyboard" #@#%^@#^@#$!@# there's no 10 connor.. you have to press 1 and 0.. " OOOOOOOk.. why isn't there a 10?? where is 1.. oh there is 1.. is an A the same thing as 0?" #$%#@$%@#$%# PRESS ONE AND THEN ZERO CONNOR!.. yeh.. I don't have the patience ever for this stuff. I try.. really.. but I was sooo crankfastic last night LMAO. (and yes.. this pic was taken during the day..... I was so not whipping out the camera last night while I was shooting lasers out of my eyes)

11/17/09 aaah and today. LOL.. Ce went with his dad again today [ I knoow.. 2 days!]. So I farted around getting some work done. SOME.. not a hellova lot but SOME. LOL So here is a pic of my corner of the world.. when I was able to focus in peace.. no nagging about stupid addition problems :p *teehee* now I don't have to stalk darcenator on SSD.. have my very own giant pic of david tennant to keep me company :p He replaced the pic of leto flipping off puppy dogs and rainbows on my desktop ^_^ and yes.. I was totally sitting here in the dark :p it's all gloomy outside.


catching up

So I'm a slacker.. well a half slacker.. those stupid sickies held onto me so tightly this week. But.. fabulous news.. la seems to be almost 100% better today :] woot woot.. so I may as well post up all the piccies I missed for this week LOL

1/6/09 yes.. yes.. my child is climbing the curtains. he was out of control that day. this is what happens when mommy is too sick to chase after you. I did make him promise never to do that again

1/7/09 breaking things.. take 2. So first he broke his lil anikan toy.. and now this big ole shell my mom gave him. she brought it home with her after one of their last drives up to maine.. and he smashes it. nice kid.
1/8/09 Kiddo went with his dad thursday, instead of the usual wednesday. I was alone.. grumpy.. still sick.. and trying to figure out wth my hair faded to such an ugly colour. Need to fix the pink. :]

1/9/09 I miss my grandma. :[ I wore this necklace to the funeral in july.... and I wore it all day this day, randomly yes.. but I wanted to. [awesome explanations on these piccies I know!]
1/10/09 yom yom yom.. kiiiity! .. yeh more kitty torture. Kiddo is seriously lucky this cat hasn't totally spazzed out on him yet. there was a pre-series to this.. all with kitty decked out in my bra :p This one was more fitting though :p


Day 5

I'm totally not in the mood to blog today :p so just the piccie.. I dunno why it looks so jacked up.. I was apparently not paying attention to what I was doing LOL. I'll fix it later :p .. Just sums up our day. Blargh. Poor Anikan has suffered because of it.


*cough cough cough*

:[ I have thee ugliest sounding cough today. It's bleck. I'll live..but I feel like whining and laying around instead lol. Ce is fine, so hopefully it just passes through me and then gets the hell out of our house. He's surprisingly healthy overall.. so we may luck out.
He's so stinkin cute when I'm sick though.. he goes into mommy mode and tries to take care of me hehe. He keeps telling me to lay down, brought me gatorade (instead of soup, it's better for me apparently *laughs*), rubbed my back, brought me a blankie etc. Suuch a sweet little boy. Who needs a hubby when I have a kid like this ;) lol...... granted, I doubt I would get even close to this sort of treatment from any man.... I'm hoping I'm raising ce right though.. so that one day he's super sweet to whoever he settles down with ^_^

so that brings me to my 365 pic for today.. #4 woot

not the world's greatest pic or anything.. but there is ce being sweet, and me looking like I got run over by a truck, or 5. LOL I would never post a pic of me looking like that... if it wasn't for my kid being stinkin adorable LOL. There was a 2nd pic but my stupid glasses caught the light from the window, ce also looked more like he was trying to put me in a headlock. haha.

In other news.... shawna, is an angel, and I love love love her. She & G are the best "family" I could ever ask for.. I love you guys, seriously.. I won't forget how wonderful you guys are to us ever. And........ other gay stuff :] I'm light headed LOL don't mind me.

err.. that is all I think. I started typing out other stuff, but it got wicked weird wicked fast. So no more typing today. Sleepz.. yes. mmm..


cleaning? what on earth is that?!

Photo Day 3 :] My favorite lil brush.. which is still sitting there waiting for me. Kidlet just ran in & saw the pic and said moooom that's still sitting int he bathroom! LOL.. isn't it cute.. I should probably put it to use LOL. I've been avoiding a good scrub down of the house.. it really really needs it, but it seems like so much work :p So I'll just admire my cute scrubby brush for the moment. I use to be like, ridiculously anal about cleaning.. somewhere along the lines I got lazy and just don't have the energy anymore *laughs*
Today is a much better day than yesterday.. thank you so much for all the kind comments :] I mean, I'll still suck.. but I dunno, I woke up this morning and smiled, because damnit I don't NEED to be perfect :p I'm embracing my imperfections today.. including sucking at cleaning lol. I'm also back on my cloud- :p - so that helps significantly. Positive gay weird la is way more fun than cranky down in the dumps la any day- even if she is slightly annoying ;)
So.. I'm off to actually straighten up things.. and stop poking around on facebook, at least for a little bit. FB is way too addicting for a nosey person like me LOL I love reading everyone's lil status messages.. and leaving randomness everywhere I go. tis fun I tell ya.. facebook is genious ;)
That's all for now.. I may come back with a cleaning status update LOL. We shall see :]


Day 2- and more randomness :]

So day 2 is upon us.. I figured this was the perfect pic for today as I sat here looking at my phone still blinking reminding me that I'm way behind today. It isn't just that I refused to wake up this morning, everything is off :p It'd rock if I started acting like a grown up and got out of bed at a normal hour- 830a is already "late" and I didn't get my butt up till prolly 1030a. Not that I'm really complaining about that, I like sleeping in.. but it's just magnifying my sucktitude today (sorry shawna LOL).
Poor shawna had to listen to me ranting about being a crapfastic mom (and other things that bloggie doesn't need to hear).. I just feel like I've been putting on a show this past year. Everyone thinks I've been rocking this whole single mom thing, but I swear each day that goes by I am a little less sure on myself. There's the whole balance stuff, which I've babbled about in random journaling- that's normal- something every mom single or not has to deal with..... but the other crap, blargh. It nags at me because, while my ex dh was trying to just take one last dig @ me before he left.. he said something like he hoped his leaving would make me "well enough to be a good mom".. like I was some sort of cracked out suckfest or something. I thought I was a rocking mom before he left, I fought tooth and nail for my kid... life was tough then for sure, and yeh yeh... things are better for Connor now, things are more stable in my home at least, we're moving more positively etc........ but, I don't know. Stupid stuff, like not playing with him enough, not reading to him enough, forgetting to make him brush his teeth-- things I should be fully capable of staying on top of no matter what :p Shawna says we're just finding the healthy balance now.. that before- Ce was my EVERYTHING.. that it was too much.. I've heard that from other people too, to the point of people telling me that the kid and I were smothering each other.. but you can't just turn it off and go in the complete opposite direction. I dunno.....
so yeh.. this is making no sense LOL. There's like a ton of other stuff going on that is clouding my head and making it ridiculously impossible to get one stinkin thought out clearly today :p

But all in all. I'm off. I'm a step behind.. and I think I missed my wake up call.. on so many things.

Peace out.


Project 365- and randomness

So.. @ ssd we're starting up project 365 photo a day etc etc. I take pics most days as is, but this is a lil extra motivator to capture the year in photos :] I'm hoping as well this will inspire me to take pics other than just of the kidlet & I -- and perhaps get a little better with the whole, taking pics in general too haha. I'm not what you'd call.. a stellar photographer, as shall be noted by my first photo :p

So here she be.. my first photo-- and first lessons of 2009. "chucks" really really are not suitable snow wear. I love these shoes though. I'll spare my dear bloggie here the nike rant today though ;) lol and second of course.. is that I'm almost 27 yrs old and really should know how to properly tie my shoes :p and that you know.. the laces should go OVER the tongue of the shoe :p that might be asking a lil too much though.

So there's my feet... Photo #1 :] Hopefully I remember to do every day! lol.. It will be fun :]

Randomness now.....I'm sooooo super excited about a few things on my resolutions list. Especially the school one. I can't stop talking about it to anyone who will listen LOL. I've been wanting to do this forever, as some of you know- I started talking about it last year but life got ahead of me. I'm hoping eventually to focus on herpetology.. which would be my dreaaaaam. I don't know exactly where I'd go from there, research or something.. but I'm stoked. Kidlet and I talked about it today too LOL he is fascinated by the concept of college.. lol. Eeeee! Of course, I have to get through all the other resolutions too. Some of them aren't keeping me too excited :p Especially January right now :p ..... Why did I listen to shawna and keep that one t here :p
and a few more :p :p :p

That's all :] Haappy New year everyone!!!!!!!!!! :]

resolutions.. finalized :]